The Road Not Taken

This weekend, as my family and I explored the mountains, I was reminded of the all time classic poem,The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost.  This poem has found a special place in my heart.

Everyday I’m presented with choices. Endless. Unrelenting. Choices.  It starts the second I wake up.  Do I sleep in today?  What should I wear? What should I feed the kids for breakfast?  For most, choosing the better choice isn’t hard.  Well, except with sleeping in, that’s a beast.

Then there are those choices where the outcome isn’t clear.  How should I discipline the kids? Should I eat artificial sweeteners? How much time should I spend writing instead of being with my kids?  Having to choose when the path is unclear is troubling.  If I discipline incorrectly am I creating monsters?  Will I get cancer from my Diet Coke? Will my children resent me as adults because I chose to write?

When things are rough and I’m feeling overwhelmed I know I choose the easier path, even when it is heading in a direction I don’t want to go.  I sleep in, eat brownies, and (gasp) yell. The problem with the easy path is that it is so enticing.  I’ll admit, I don’t want trial in my life. I hate confrontation and discord more than heights, snakes, and spiders combined. However, hating trials don’t mean that they don’t seek me out.  I have battles everyday, just like everyone else.

In the end, I must decide on where I want go.  Having a goal helps to steer in the right direction.  If I want to trim my waist line I have to stop haunting my kitchen hunting for treats.  If I want my children to speak kindly to each other I have to speak kindly to them.  If I want more time writing and working toward finishing my book, I have to spend less time watching TV and browsing the internet.

I have to take the road not taken.  Even when it’s hard.  Especially when it’s hard.

The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Friday Fiction: Transdimentional Zombies

The idea for this short story started out as a random thread on Facebook where I was challenged to write a story about none other than Zombies.  Readers be warned.  A shout out to Lauri and Neils who are egging me on.

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The smell had become unbearable, sickly sweet with a hint of barbeque and just a touch of rot.  Oh, who are we kidding, mostly rot.  I tapped the side of the Anomalous Field Detector, or AFD, hoping to get a reading so I could collect some samples and get out of this place.  It’s not that I dislike graveyards, but considering the circumstances, I’d rather be anywhere else.  A locked down bomb shelter with food and a computer sounds better by the minute.

The zombie invasion came as a big surprise to our whole town.  Most thought it was a joke by the local high school, at first. That soon changed after people started turning up mutilated and dismembered.  Then, there were the ones who were changed, who somehow got the venom in their system.  These were the ones I felt the worst for,  I mean it’s one thing to die a hideous death.  It’s completely another to not quite die and be forced to live an eternity walking the earth, waiting for your next bite.

The air hung hangs heavy and dank in the night, the smell makes bile rise in my throat.  Twigs snap under my feet and I can’t help but imagine dried out fingers and toes.  The thought puts my hair on end.  Times like these make me think my mother was right about a mainstream career, anything but a viral toxicologist.

The AFD pings, sounding too loud in the dark.  It points ahead and left 50 meters.  I switch it off, can’t risk letting them know there’s a snack nearby. Without the light of the detector’s display my eyes adjust to the dim light.  The moon, hidden behind a thin veil of clouds, turns the landscape into a dull palette of grays and shadow.  Off in the distance where the detector has directed, I see a figure shamble along.  He’s missing an arm and is dressed in a dark tattered uniform that reminds me of old civil war pictures.

Image by Christopher Keough from Pixabay

I ready the catch pole, loosening the noose and twisting the pole to extend it, then checking each joint making sure it’s tight.  Test tubes and syringes are lined up in a special pocket in the lining of my jacket. Although I know it doesn’t make a difference, I don latex gloves and lower my face shield.  Protocol has to be followed.

He shambles across my line of vision, step, drag, step, drag. I wait until he has passed further, so I can approach him from behind.  In a low run I follow, pole held in front and zeroed in on his head, aimed for a quick take down.  I’m about twenty feet away when he drops and disappears from view with a burst of blue light.

I curse and stumble back in surprise. Where did the devil go?  He has to be somewhere.  I switch on the AFD once again and sweep the area, the last thing I need is a surprise.  The fellow I just saw should show up, no one disappears like that.  There is always a reason.

Nothing shows up on the AFD. I smack the side of it, stupid university tools were always on the fritz.  He has to be somewhere close.  I keep walking toward where he disappeared, studying the ground.  His trail in the damp grass is clear, I can see where he’s dragged his left leg. Ahead, lies an open grave.  Knowing that he didn’t simply disappear is a relief.  The thought of him falling into a grave is oddly ironic and I find myself giggling.

I look over the side of the hole expecting to find a frustrated tangled mess of zombie. There is nothing there. I mean that quite literally, where there should have been dirt and rocks there is only a dark unfathomable expanse.  I drop a small rock over the side and watch it vanish with a flash of blue light.

I had only read of such phenomenon in the texts of conspiracy books.  Portals aren’t supposed to exist, not in the real world.  The AFD bleeped to life showing dozens of readings around the periphery of the clearing.  Deep in my gut I knew. They weren’t coming for me, they were going home.

Meet the Cast: Alystra

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So far, in the Meet the Cast series of posts,  we’ve met the hero, villian, and the hero’s friend.  Today we are going to explore a vital member of the supporting cast.

In the society of the immortal Stonebearers there are three towers that govern the three distinct areas of the world.  Alystra holds the high seat of the mountain tower. As senior of the three leaders of the towers she also holds power and influence over the other two.  It is her duty to command and protect the Stonebearers within her order and through them ensure the safety of the mortal world.  Both Jarand and Bremin are members of her order.

As leader she must embody the Stonebearer ideals, which include; grace, loyalty, duty, mercy, and humility. She must be resourceful and fair.  If a Stonebearer of her order has broken his oaths, she must determine their fate.

If I were to chose an actress to play Alystra, it would have to be the esteemed Dame Judi Dench.  In all of her roles she displays the perfect blend of power, control, and restrained passion.  Her characters also display a certain vulnerability and depth that makes them even more appealing.

 All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

 

 

 

Everything I need to know about life I learned from Spongebob

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Be happy about everything.

There is always a reason to laugh.

Find joy in everything you do.

You don’t have to have a lot of friends, just a best friend.

Be creative.

Always try new things.

Live life with a sense of wonder.

It’s okay to like your job.

Take pride in your home, even if it’s a pineapple.

Love your neighbors, no matter who they are.

There’s always time for jelly fishing.

It’s okay to cry.

Always assume the best about people.

Ignore the negative.

Driving is over rated.

There’s nothing wrong with doing your best work.

Keep it clean.

Seek out adventure.

It’s okay to be scared sometimes.

Be flexible.

Never hesitate to give a helping hand.

Appreciate music in all of its forms.

You don’t have to be smart to be happy.

Blowing bubbles is fun for all ages.

Visit your mother often.

Hygiene is important.

You don’t have to be rich to be happy.

What other people think about you doesn’t matter.

Plan your “Best Day Ever.”

Always show gratitude.

Having a goofy laugh isn’t a bad thing.

Every day is a beautiful day.

All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners. 

Losing Momentum, Finding Balance

I can’t believe it, I’ve done it to myself again. I’ve been drawn in by an illusion and have become lost in a false sense of reality.  It’s a vicious cycle, I’ll start a new project or get a terrific idea and find myself obsessing over every detail and spending every last moment possible working and tweaking and fixing and whatnot.

Currently, I’m coming down from a brief obsessive cycle of trying to keep up with all the blogs I follow.  I want to read everything and comment on everything and be a presence in the blogging sphere. Problem is, I follow dozens of prolific blogs.  Reading and catching up with what everyone is doing takes a huge amount of time.

The obsession before that (which I’m a little ashamed to admit) was playing Sims.  My little digital people needed me to take care of them!  It took about two weeks to realize how pointless it was spending time playing a game that ultimately didn’t go anywhere.

Before that I learned everything I could about the use of essential oils.

Somewhere before that I spent endless hours attempting to create a following on Twitter.

Before that, while it was still cold and miserable around here, I fixated on what I would plant in my garden.

Earlier, I experimented with freelance writing jobs from text mills such as Textbroker and Copify.

Now I’m seeking balance.  I really want to finish writing this book, it’s been hanging over my head for way too long.  But, I also want to build up a strong fan base here using the blog and other social media.  I used to suffer from the delusion that all it took to become the next big thing was to publish a decent book.  After a few years of working the field, attending conferences, and rubbing elbows with other writers, I know that dream is like playing the lottery.  Sure, some people will strike it big right out the gate without all the hassle of building a fan base; but, the rest of us have to work to succeed.

When I started blogging back in 2010 I worked my tail off trying to get a post up every day and managed to do it for nearly a year.  I spent so much time on the blog that I didn’t realize that I was no longer working actively on my WIP, it was always in my mind but meeting my self-inflicted deadlines for the blog took priority.  Now, three years later, I know I don’t have time to post daily and still make progress on my book.  Three posts a week is still plenty.

I don’t nearly tweet as much as I should, but I do tweet the important stuff.  If I’m stuck somewhere with nothing better to do I’ll go over and interact with whoever is tweeting items of interest.

There’s Facebook in there as well. I’ll admit I prefer reading Facebook to Twitter because the things my friends post there are generally more interesting.  While I’m not nearly as active on my author page as I should be, I’m ok with it.

It’s important to have priorities or the things that matter most don’t get done.  My writing priorities start with working on the book, then blogging, then everything else.  That is, until the next obsession rolls around…

Fiction Friday: Fireworks

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Image by Đắc Ninh Bùi from Pixabay

Alex had been gone on tour for over a year.  In their last phone call he told her that they’d finalized the plans for sending his troop home, next week.  Ever since he left last year on the 4th of July weekend she had imagined the celebration they would have when he returned for the next 4th of July.  Now he would miss it and the thought brought tears to her eyes.  Here in the park celebrating the holiday with her family felt empty without him.

For the past few months she had felt anxious about his homecoming. Absence was supposed to make the heart grow fonder, and when he first left it did.  She yearned for him, cried in her pillow at night for him, and found every waking thought returning to him. As the time of his absence stretched longer the memory of his touch began to fade as she found new ways to keep her mind occupied.  She threw herself into her work, got promoted and then threw herself into her new position.

Now, with his return so close she worried if she still had the same feelings for him.  Would his touch feel the same to her as before, or would a year of soldiering in the desert have changed it? Would she seen the same to him after all that time, or would she seem pale and ordinary compared to the people he had come to know and trust?  

Still, here on the soft grass out under the warm night sky surrounded by family she wanted him back.  Holidays were meant for couples, having someone to hold hands with and lean on.  She watched as her sisters giggled with their spouses and wrangled their kids.  She couldn’t help but smile, one day that would be her as well.  She tried to hide how watching them made her heart hurt by laughing and smiling along, but she knew they knew.  Sisters always knew.  They had ways of finding out about secret pains and joys and things hidden under the bed.  They were there in the middle of the night with a kind word when the tears came.

Just as they always knew what was going on with her, she had a way of knowing what was going on with them as well.  And tonight they were hiding something.  She hoped that they hadn’t done anything foolish. Earlier that year, when the pain of his leaving was still too fresh, they had hired a stripper for her birthday party.  She still hadn’t fully forgiven them, but looking back it seemed much funnier now than it did then.

She prayed for something simple like a cake or a song.

As the dark fell and the first of the fireworks blossomed in the sky she felt a strange chill, like warm electricity coursing through her.  The hair on her arms stood straight up.  Then she smelled a familiar scent on the breeze, aftershave, his aftershave, mixed with his indescribable scent.  Her heart pounded in her chest, she didn’t dare turn around for fear that it might be someone else.

He didn’t say a word, but placed a hand on her shoulder.  She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, tears threatened to choke her.  He pulled her into his arms, and it was as if the world had stopped turning and they were at the center of the world.  All her worries disappeared, and in her heart there were fireworks big enough to drown out the cheers of the crowd.

He was home.

Writing Update – June

June marked the start of summer vacation for the kids and a lot less undisturbed time for me.  It felt I spent most of the month spent finding balance between housework,  playing with the kids, and finding time for me to continue working on my story. Still, I ended the month with the manuscript heavier by a surprising additional 22,000 words, bringing the total to about 57,500 words. Even with challenges, I managed to crank through roughly 88 pages.  I’m thrilled.

At last I feel like I’m making some real progress.  For the longest time  I wasn’t sure about where the story needed to go or how to get it there. Now, with this month’s work, the story and it’s characters are gaining momentum and I can see where it needs to go.

Writing a first novel is much harder than it looks, you are not only discovering your characters and the story, but you are also discovering yourself as a writer.  It’s taken years to find what techniques work best for me.  Looking back the solution seems obvious now.  If I could have figured out my style of working earlier I could have saved myself a huge amount of time.

Along with the progress made on the manuscript, June marks the first time I’ve received a formal rejection letter for a short story submitted to a contest.  Although I would have loved it if my story were accepted, receiving a rejection is a milestone every writer must face.  Having one says I’m submitting and putting my work out there.  It won’t be the last rejection letter I receive and in time there will be acceptances as well.

I’m looking forward to July with its heat and long days.  If I can make the same amount of progress that I did in June then I’m on track for finishing this draft by the end of summer.  After that, the bulk of the work is done and I can start focusing on detail work and really making it shine.

I can’t wait.

They say this is good for you…

It’s hot.  It’s at least 95 degrees with 100 percent humidity and no breeze.  The air covers me like a wet blanket, clingy and persistent.  I know my hair has reached new extremes in the frizz department making me look the equivalent of a fluffy red troll doll.  No, you cannot rub my tummy for a wish.  People pay good money to sit in the heat and let the sweat roll from their skin.  It’s healthy, they say.  It’s good for the skin, they say.  It purges the body of toxins, they say.

The second I can leave I’m getting a Coke.

“They” probably aren’t at an indoor pool for an hour and a half wrestling a one year old while the other two children are learning not to drown.  While they call these swimming lessons, we are still at the “how to keep alive” stage.  I suppose in time they might learn how to propel themselves through the water but for now, first things first.

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There’s no amount of explaining that helps a youngster realize that these lessons are for their own good.  In their eyes the teacher is doing her best to kill them.  She pushes them into deep water where they can’t touch bottom, forces them to flail to stay afloat, and calls the exercise “treading water.”  Then she holds them by their heads and insists they can float on their backs.  All they can think about is that their breathing bits are mere inches from going under and the only thing keeping them afloat is the same gal that pushed them into the deep water.

I have seen improvement in my kids not drowning skills, so it’s all worth it.  As for me nothing sounds better than heading home.

Happy Summer!

 

Being a Mom and a Writer

I’m a very creative person.  I’m so creative, I create people.  Three of them to be exact, and each enough different from the other that there is no user’s guide, no “What to Expect When…” book, that covers them all.

I’m not talking about fictional characters here, although I’ve created dozens of those as well.  I’m talking about walking, talking, screaming, whining, hugging, cuddly little kids.  They are the reason I get up in the morning, and the reason I’m so happy to get back into bed at night.  They fill my every waking hour with surprises, challenges, and messes.

                         My Groupies

I love my little monkeys, from their toothy smiles to their dirty feet.  Every minute of the day they are there, reminding me how needed I am in their world.

I remember when I came home with my first child.  Leaving the hospital, I had this weird paranoia that a nurse was going to stop us at any minute and tell us that we weren’t qualified to take a baby home with us.  And as first time parents, we probably weren’t.  Qualifications are measured in spit up stains, diaper changing speeds, and being able to find lost binkies in the dark.  No one comes with those skills built in, they are gained with experience.

Being a mom means finding solutions.  Everyday there are countless questions and problems to be solved.  What’s for lunch? Where are the keys? How do you remove crayon from tile? Where did the baby go?  It’s a relentless task that refuses to be put on hold, even for a potty break.

On the flip side, being a writer means long hours in thought finding the best way to present a scene, or construct an essay.  Many of these hours are spent in front of a screen typing in these fragile thoughts that are likely to shatter when disturbed.  Sometimes it takes a while of churning out text before we find what we really want to say.  The rest of those hours happen in our heads as we work on everything else from driving to sleeping.

Being a mom and a writer is an impossible situation.  Children, especially young children, require endless immediate intervention to keep them from harm’s way.  Writing while they are awake ends up being an exercise in frustration.  Writing while they are asleep is unpredictable.

Although it is impossible, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  If I didn’t have my kids I wouldn’t be the person I am today.  They have taught me confidence, humility, and grace. At the same time, being a writer brings an added dimension to my life.  It’s a challenge and a reward.  One day I would love my kiddos to hold up a favorite book and be able to say, “Hey, my Mom wrote this!”

Fiction Friday: The Man in the Cupboard pt. 2

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To start at part one, click here!

Two weeks had passed since Kimberly had first encountered that tiny man in her cupboard, since then she had seen no trace of him.  Maybe she was right in thinking that  he was only a figment of her imagination.  Even so, the last time she put the peanuts away she made sure that the lid wasn’t too tight.

The radio blared in the kitchen, bouncing the best hits of the 80’s and 90’s off the walls and throughout the house.  Kimberly sang along to the music as she tackled the dishes and cups overflowing from the sink.  Over the last week with the coming of better weather and no sighting of the tiny Mike Finnegan, she had found a cheerfulness that she hadn’t found in what felt like years.

During a particularly loud rendition of “All the Single Ladies” she heard a loud rap and then the music died.  There on top of the radio sat Mike, swinging his cane.

“What in tarnation is the meaning of all this racket?” he asked, clutching his head. “In my day, people caught singin’ like that were put in the stocks.”

Kimberly couldn’t help but stare.  Seeing him again meant one of two things, either he was indeed real, or she needed her head examined.  “So…,” she rubbed her temples, “you’re real then.”

“As real as the smelly pile of laundry in yer closet.”

“What?!?” She slapped the counter.  The thought of a strange little man in her kitchen was one thing, knowing he was raiding her closet was a more serious offence.

Mike blushed and shuffled his feet, “Erm, forget I said that.”

“Don’t think I can.” Kimberly planted her hands on her hips. “What am I going to do with you?”

Mike jumped down from the radio and began pacing across the countertop. “Well Missy, most tend to ignore me but I can be quite handy.”

“Like how?”

“Well, I’m a tinker, right?”

“I thought you were a leprechaun, is there a difference?”

Mike banged his cane against the counter with a snap. “Now you understand this, no one calls Mike Finnegan a leprechaun.  Little gold obsessed good fer nothin’ mites, they are.” He spat, emphasizing his point.

“Hey, none of that!” She tossed him a cloth from the sink. “Clean it up.”

He grumbled as he wiped up the spot, something about how gingers had a temper.  She couldn’t make out most of it, and was glad for it.

“A tinker, miss, fixes things.  It’s what we live for.  That squeak in the garage door, the one that mysteriously disappeared, that was me.”  He tossed the cloth back, which to him seemed more like a blanket.  “A tinker is happiest when there are things to mend, that’s why we love these old houses.  Always something that needs a fix.”

Kimberly nodded, tapping her chin. Someone who sould fix things around the house would be nice. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch, you lets me borrow things from here and there, a pinch of food, and what not.  A touch of whiskey is always a nice gesture.  Do that, and I’m more than happy staying here doin’ what I do.” He said with a flourish.

“Alrighty Mr. Mike, you can stay.  Just promise me not to riffle through my personal items.  None of the drawers in the bedroom.”

“And the whiskey. . .?” He asked, a hopeful gleam in his eye.

“We’ll see in time.  When I can see things working out well between us then yes, I’ll get you some.”

He danced a little jig, swinging his tiny cane in time to his steps.

“Oh miss? There is one more thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“Promise me never to get a cat.”

Kimberly giggled at the image in her head of tiny Mike being chased by a cat.  “Ok, I promise.”

“Good doing business with ya.” He tipped his hat and with a flash, vanished.

 

To read the next in the series, click here.