Tag Archives: kids

Summer 2015

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These crafts look great because no child made them.

These crafts look great because no child made them.

Yesterday marks the first official day of summer and that means making plans to survive the hotter months. It was also Father’s Day – (a huge happy Father’s Day to my dear dad who reads my blog, love ya tons Daddy!).

As much as I’d love to say I’ve got it all figured it out for this year, I don’t. Because of year-round school my kiddos only get a three-week break, which isn’t much compared to traditional, but sometimes still seems like forever.

I want to make those three weeks count and not have it turn into another lost opportunity.

The more ambitious part of me wants to plan crafts and activities for each day and be super active. I’ll teach them new skills like crochet and beading. We’ll work out in the garden and grow fun food. We’ll visit museums and go swimming. It sounds fun, and exhausting.

The more realistic part of me knows how this has gone in the past. I’ll bring out a project that I’ve spent time preparing. Before we even start, one kid will start whining that he doesn’t want to do it. While I try to convince him how much fun it will be the other two get into the materials and start opening up and pouring out and dumping things. I try my best not to lose it because now I have to help them find all the bits they each need from the wreckage and they are frustrated that it doesn’t look like how it’s pictured on the box. While all of this is happening, the third child will have to be taken potty. The second I leave the other two will wander off back to their video games. When I get back I have to choose if I want to repeat everything again or just scrap the whole idea.

Here’s to another summer. I will plan a few projects for them as well as for me. I hope that everyone has matured a bit since last summer and maybe things will go better.

Until then, wish me luck!

The Finish Line is in Sight

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back to school sign owlNext week marks the magical and wonderous time where I send the oldest two children back to school. This is the first year when they will both go for the full day and I can’t contain my excitement.  The last six weeks of summer vacation have been exhausting, the house is a mess, and the unending chorus of “I’m bored!” has grated me down to my last nerve.

I’m looking forward to spending more uninterrupted one on one time with my youngest. With the other two around it’s been hard to focus on just him because brother and sister come and need me to do something, or want to do what we are doing, or start arguing and force me to divide my attention.

I’m also hoping to find more writing time.  With all three in the house it’s been too chaotic to sit at the computer and focus.  At the beginning of the summer I had finally reached the part of my draft that didn’t need extensive renovation. Not being able to work on it has been sheer torture.

Writing with a two-year-old in the house will still be a challenge, but it’s got to be easier than having all three rattling around.

Heck, I might even finish the Man in the Cupboard series!

A Case of Too Much Fun

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When school got out the week before last I didn’t imagine that we would end up doing something big nearly everyday. Somehow between family, friends, and the 4th of July holiday, we’ve been to the water park twice, the dinosaur museum, camped in the backyard, had a sleepover, gone to lots of playgrounds, watched a parade and a firework show, and attended a luau.

It’s been exhausting.

I can’t deny that the kids have had a great time. We don’t normally do as many fun outings in the course of a week.  All that fun comes at a cost. As much as they deny it, I can tell that they are getting pretty tired as well.  Late nights and long days will wear anyone down , and kids have shorter fuses. Yesterday my youngest had a meltdown at church. He was mad at everything and we couldn’t figure out what he wanted.  I ended up having to take him from his class. After he had a snack, he curled up in my arms and fell right asleep. He has never done this before. In fact, the only way I’ve managed to get him to nap for the past 5 months is taking him on a car ride.

As parents we’ve had to deal with the other dark side of too much fun.  If my youngest gets too tired during the day or takes too long of nap then he wakes up in the middle of the night and it takes anywhere between 10 minutes to over an hour to get him back to sleep. We’re already getting less sleep because of everything going on, losing that much more is the proverbial kick to the head.

As for me, I’ve tried to set up that holy grail of a summer routine that allows for both fun and work. Late nights paired with trying to wake before the kiddos has caused all sorts of issues with my sleep rhythm and now it feels like I’m waking up half zombie.

It’s the beginning of another week. My shoulder aches from hauling around my youngest and my head is already throbbing.  Thank heavens at least for today we don’t have anything big planned!

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Good Morning Oatmeal

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Most mornings for normal people consist of a few basic elements.  The alarm goes off and there is that moment of decision whether to get up or sleep a few more minutes. There is some sort of dressing and breakfast routine.  Depending on preference, the morning may take place in a few hectic minutes or may take a few leisurely hours.  I’m all for the leisurely mornings, anyone know how I can get one?

This morning at precisely 6am I was woken by a cannister of oatmeal.

It wasn’t the oatmeal’s fault either.  It had been removed from the kitchen by my two year old who decided it was time for breakfast.  This kid must have been a ninja in a past life. He managed to escape his room, descend the stairs, loot the kitchen, and appear at my bedside, all without arousing the suspicion of either sleeping parent’s well tuned ears.

Being silently presented with oatmeal is a far better way of waking up than finding someone standing at my bedside staring at me as it’s far less likely to cause a heart attack. I’ve had plenty of the latter at all times of the night.  Apparently when my son sleep walks I’m the first person he visits, which is as freaky as it is flattering.

I did end up making him oatmeal, it’s healthy and easy and thankfully cheap. I’m told Anne Hathaway used it to help her lose weight to achieve that starved look in Les Miserables.

He didn’t end up eating it.  While trying to scoot in his stool at the counter he ended up falling off and scaring himself. We cuddled with his sippy of milk instead.  The days are numbered where he is small enough and will still let me scoop him into my arms and just hold him. I will take all that I can get until then.

Even if it means being woken up by a cannister of oatmeal.

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He likes it dry if you let him!

 

 

The Techno War

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For those thinking that this was going to be an awesome piece of fiction possibly with an urban sci-fi twist, sorry.  We’ve had an ongoing battle here at the house, real play with real toys vs. techno play with computers and other devices.  For a while we were doing well. There was a good balance between the two and it seemed that everyone was fairly happy.

That was before the discovery of Minecraft – the Legos of the software world.

I haven’t played it enough to grasp the appeal, but apparently it has enough flexibility for the player to make it whatever kind of game he wants.  It has the power to keep my eight-year old anchored in front of the computer for hours and when he’s not playing it’s the only thing he’ll talk about.

It’s not that I mind too much that he loves the game.  I grew up playing everything from Super Mario to Tetris, often for hours at a time.  Sometimes I still do.  What does drive me crazy is the fighting between siblings that the games have caused.  When he’s playing on the computer then his sister doesn’t have anyone to play with and she does everything in her power to get his attention which drives him (and everyone else) nuts.  Then the screaming and fighting begins.

So this weekend we short circuited the whole problem.  Instead of moping around the house, hubby found a hike that was family friendly and packed us all up and left all the kids devices behind.

We had a great time, no one fought, the surroundings were beautiful, it was a win-win for everyone.

Back at home there will always be the techno war, it’s inevitable.  There will always have to be limits and monitoring on computer and other device usage. I will have to be the bad guy telling them when it’s time to stop.  As they grow older this will only grow harder.

It gives me hope that our whole family can do something as simple as walk around a lake and find a happiness that isn’t found anywhere else.  Here’s to planning our next hike!

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The Love/Hate Relationship with Summer

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summer_kids_swimmingSummer vacation is just around the corner and while I’m looking forward to slower mornings and less structure, there’s a part of me that is starting to panic.  With year round schooling we have had several mini breaks throughout the year so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Well, no – but it is anyway.

Summer break is longer and for some reason there are higher expectations to fill it with a variety of fun and educational activities.  All of those activities take planning and guidance and endless driving around the city.

It’s not that I mind, I like the activities as much as my kids, and sometimes more.  What’s making me sweat is that unless I make a conscious daily effort, the chances of me making some real progress on my book during summer break, are slim.

I don’t like extra effort when I can avoid it.  It’s a personality flaw that one day I’ll get under control.  I always look for the easiest way to get from start to finish.  If the laundry needs folding, I’ll often wait until the kids are at school so I can listen to my favorite podcasts undisturbed while I work.  I could just as easily do it while they are scrambling around me, but why?

It’s the same with writing, although the need for focus is greater, where I wait until the kids are at school and the youngest is sleeping before I even bother to start. If it weren’t for my deadlines I would do the same for blogging.  I write this as my middle child is arguing with me about the fact that she has to get dressed before she can go outside.  Distracting? Heck yeah.  I might be strange and a bit lazy but I do have standards.

All this means is that it’s time to do some serious plotting and planning on the best and hopefully most economical way for everyone, myself included, to have a phenomenal summer.

 

 

 

 

Attack of the Baby Shirt

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In our household we are grateful for every night of undisturbed sleep we can get. They don’t come often and when they do we’re not sure we’ve had one until the morning when we realize that none of the kids visited our bedroom, or called out from their beds. My two oldest no longer call out, unless they’ve thrown up. Instead, they walk to our bedside and stand there and stare at us until their breathing wakes us.  It’s unsettling to say the least, especially when your daughter kinda looks like this:

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Instead, we had the harrowing experience of being attacked by the baby shirt.

The baby shirt phenomenon is when a baby or toddler magnetically attaches himself to a parent’s chest, wrapping his little arms and legs tightly around any part of their body, and no amount of coaxing can get him off.

Last night Baby D (ok, I admit he’s really a toddler) had a full-blown nightmare.  He woke up and hurried to come find us, calling all the way.  I caught him and he instantly adhered himself to my chest. After a good love and hug I tried to put him back in bed which was like trying to lower a cat into a sink full of soapy water. He arched and strained away, springing off the mattress as soon as he touched it.  After several tries it was clear that it wasn’t going to work, so I gathered up his pillow and blanket and headed for his favorite sleeping spot, the family room couch.

I set up the couch with his stuff, but the sight of his pillow and blanket set him into a panic and he ran full tilt into our bedroom, which made me wonder if his nightmare had something to do with his bed eating him. Being snuggled in our bed wasn’t enough, he still felt insecure enough that he plastered himself to daddy’s chest.

Even the sanest of parents can only take so long of having a heavy, twitching, restless toddler parked on their chest before deciding to try putting the kid back to bed. Sure, for the first ten minutes it’s adorable, but then the parent realizes that he has a whole day ahead of him and only 30 minutes of sleep to fuel it with.

The second time we tried putting Baby D back in bed it was like trying to put a magnet backwards on the fridge, except he didn’t have the decency to flip over and stay put. We tried the couch again, without the evil pillow and blanket, and he wrestled to find the remote.  It’s amazing, the kid is still in diapers but has the TV figured out.  Then, he had to have a sippy of milk and was super angry that I don’t allow milk sippies at night.  After a few more rounds of “please lay down and go back to sleep” which escalated to “Mommy is getting really angry” he decided that it would be better for his health to settle down and sleep on the couch after all.

Yay.

The hour-long ordeal left me wound up and restless and it took me nearly another hour to settle myself down and get back to sleep as well.  It didn’t last, the events of the night triggered my own nightmare about a sleepover at a distant relatives house which then evolved into a dystopian police state that separated me from my children without any explanation leaving me to fear the worst of what might happen to them.  The ending scene has us separated by a thick pane of glass and they were screaming and scared and I could do nothing.  I hate dreams that leave me helpless because when I wake from them I can’t rest until I figure out what I should have done.

Between Baby D’s and then my nightmare, I’m walking in a fog today.  I’m still upset about the dream, a part of my brain keeps insisting it was real can’t let it go.  In a way, part of it was.  Today the kids go back to school after being off track for several weeks and I have to let them go.  Most of me is super happy about it, but there is a small part that hates sending them away.

 

Sometimes More is Better

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Technology surrounds today’s kids. There are TV’s and computers at home and iPods for everywhere else.  It’s too easy for parents to stick their kids in front of a screen to entertain them.  When playing video games kids are quiet, they are not running around, and they are not making messes. Some of the games are even educational. It seems like the perfect toy.

However, kids need to move their bodies.  Their brains are wired to need motion and active play to make important connections.  Playing video games doesn’t help with any of this.  Plus, kids need to play with other kids to learn social skills.  Video games don’t get angry and punch you if you do something to get on their nerves, other kids will.

At our house we’ve had a chronic epidemic of the game Minecraft. Every dinner time conversation, every free minute, and every playtime activity has revolved around the game. My kids were on the computer, MY computer, every minute they could to create and manipulate their miniature worlds.

Don’t get me wrong, Minecraft is a great game, it encourages creative thinking, spacial reasoning, and problem solving skills.  No one gets blown to bits in bloody combat and the goal isn’t violence.  It also, thankfully, doesn’t have really annoying background music that so many other games have.

But too much of anything is bad. Just ask my daughter who managed to eat over a pound of Easter candy yesterday.  Some years I ration the candy, this year I decided to let them discover exactly why eating too much candy isn’t a good thing.  Evil mom tactic? Heck yeah.

We definitely had too much Minecraft and screen time in general around the house.  The kids were getting increasingly crabby as the tentacles of addiction began to take hold. They physically craved their iPods and you could see the discomfort it caused when they had to be parted with them.  Before school iPod and TV had to stop because it caused too much drama and anger when I had to make them turn off and get ready to go.

Taking things away makes me the bad guy and I hate being the bad guy. So I came up with a brilliant strategy. I gave them lists of things that needed to be done before they would be allowed to play iPod.  Now, instead of saying that they can’t do something, I now can say, “Of course you can do it, when you finish your _____________.”

These lists are simple and have things on them that they already need to do.  They don’t take long and make it so I don’t have to nag. The morning list has things like brush teeth, do one chore, and make bed.  The after school list has things like do homework, and reading time.

My kids have already found one loophole.  Since they know I won’t force them to do their lists by a certain time on days where we don’t have things scheduled, they will engage in creative play with each other.  Eventually they’ll want to play their iPods and the list gets done but until then they go off and play on their own. This morning they’ve spent almost two hours playing mega blocks because they’re not ready to do their work.  There hasn’t been a word said about iPods and everyone is happy.

Which means I’m happy as well. I’ve been able to spend time on the things that I want to do, including writing this post. I don’t mind that my family room looks like a bomb hit, they are playing creatively and with each other and I didn’t have to ask for any of it!

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The wake of destruction left by happy kids. The bigger blocks are thankfully easier to clean up than Legos, and they don’t make you cry when you step on one.

Potential, Check.

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Yesterday, my family had a discussion about potential.  Strike that, yesterday I attempted to teach my kids about potential. Instead, I learned a lesson that I won’t soon forget. Never underestimate kids, they see things in different and unexpected ways.  They have the unique perspective of innocence and open-mindedness that an adult can’t match.

This isn’t saying that everything that flows from their mouths in that constant river of sound consists of rubies and emeralds.  It’s more like panning for gold.  Most of the dirt and sand is just dirt and sand, but every once in a while there will be a nugget of truth and enlightenment.

You see, I’ve created a new responsibility chart that will hopefully help my little ones take a more active role in caring for themselves and their surroundings.  There is a lot of work to do in this house and although I can do all of it, I don’t see why I shouldn’t share the load. They need to learn about the importance of work and the joy of having helped.   I also reason that if they help more with the clean up they will possibly think before leaving little messes everywhere.

IMG_2382I introduced the chart by talking about the word potential and asking if they knew what it meant. My eight year old son replied with the definition for potential energy (he’s the family physicist) and talked about how things at the tops of hills and those with more mass had greater potential or they could do more.

I asked him if he knew what it meant for a person to have potential and it confused him. Why would we be rolling people down hills?  He imagined that larger people would have greater potential energy than smaller ones.  By this reasoning Grandpa has more potential than anyone in the family.

My daughter added that Jesus has more potential than anyone, even Grandpa.  I’m still not sure how to reply to that one.  Yes, He has done great things and will continue to do great things and for that he has extraordinary potential. I admire her for thinking of it. Now I’m hoping she didn’t think of Him because we were talking about things being higher having greater potential than things that were lower. He is in heaven, that would be considered really high up.

I did my best to teach them about how when people have potential they have within them the ability to do great things.  By being better helpers and being more responsible with their time it would increase their potential and help them be even more awesome kids than they already are. While they aren’t thrilled about having daily chores, they aren’t putting up as big of a fight as they could have either.

As for you dear reader – remember that you too have great potential, especially if you are higher up, like at the top of a flight of stairs.  Oh, and you have it in you to do great things as well!

 

The Burrito Fiasco

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We are blessed to have a little slice of entropy at our house.  Entropy is the force of nature that abhors order and will pull things back into a general state of chaos.  In our house this force of nature is a vivacious two-year old, although his older brother and sister definitely qualify.  We all have our moments.

This morning our toddler, Baby D, woke up an hour early and proceeded to drag me around the house by my pinkie so he could turn all the lights on.  I would much rather have had a nice quiet morning cuddle where we could enjoy each other without anyone else making demands on me, but no, it had to be the lights.  I wouldn’t have minded as much but more lights on equals more likelihood of waking the rest of the flock and I’ll do anything to prevent that.

Including nuking frozen burritos at 7 AM.  After he was satisfied with the lights, Baby D     started screaming and yanking at the freezer.  When this kid gets hungry he gets a little nutso. To quiet him I opened it and he grabbed the bag of frozen burritos, ran to the couch and sat clutching them in his arms like they were a long lost favorite stuffed animal.

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Posing with the burritos, note the cheesy smile

You see, this kid only talks when he absolutely has to and that makes figuring out his needs tough.  When he’s tired or angry or frustrated, which is all the time, he won’t speak but instead will grunt and point and drag you around by whatever finger he can get his little hands on.  Usually it’s the pinkies because they are easier to grab and get your attention faster. They hurt more when twisted.

The whole burrito fiasco is only the tip of the iceberg in a series of bizarre and typical two-year old behavior that humbles me daily. Yesterday we had a run in with smelly markers and his hands are still green. I wish it were easier and not always this ongoing game of charades trying to figure him out. Sometimes I feel like a human metal detector with him riding on my hip and pointing towards what he is trying to find. Most of the time I can figure it out, and if I’m lucky it’s something he can actually play with and not scissors or hoards of candy.

If I’m not lucky there’s the screaming and whining and hitting and throwing things and the decent into chaos which two-year olds are famous for.  Some days, I swear he trying to see just how far down the rabbit hole of crazy I can go. I haven’t found the bottom yet, and not for want of trying.

Maybe today will be day!