Category Archives: Mindful Living, Motivation, and Goals

The Three Types of Reading

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You are an intelligent person. I mean look at you, reading this article for starters. It shows that you are curious and want to see if I’ve got anything interesting to say. No doubt you already engage in all three types of reading, you just haven’t had a way to describe it yet. Let’s dive in starting with my personal favorite type of reading – transportive.

Transportive Reading

Also called immersive reading, this is fiction reading at it’s best. While all three types of reading have their own benefits, this type tends to be the most enjoyable for most people. These are the books the reader craves, the stories they love, and the authors that they’ll follow to the end of the earth. When we talk about a transportive book, we’re talking about a story so immersive that it take our minds to a whole new world for a while. The oft referenced Harry Potter is an excellent example because it’s so immersive.

Every one has a different perfect story. For some, this might be a cozy romance. For others it might be an epic fantasy. What people love to read is a direct reflection of what brings them joy. Cozy romance readers rejoice when two perfect people meet and after several challenges come together in a beautiful satisfying relationship. Epic fantasy readers cheer when their hero overcomes overwhelming odds and the hardest challenges. Horror readers delight in the thrill of survival against something truly awful.

If it’s been a while since you’ve picked up a book that takes your brain to weird and wonderful places, I’d encourage you to indulge yourself. Not only is this form of reading entertaining, it also reduces stress. Win!

Educational Reading

On a completely different side of the store are books written to educate. While these can also be very entertaining, their goal is to allow readers to gain a greater understanding of a topic. They also might have an agenda and want to persuade readers into a new way of thinking. The best of these books also contain elements of transportive reading and immerse the reader in a new world of ideas and concepts.

Again, what readers choose to read is as varied as there are readers. Those attracted to histories and biographies are fascinated about who and what brought about significant events and why it was possible. By reading, they are transported inside someone else’s life and/or time period and experience the world through a different set of eyes.

There are also those books that take a deep look at a single concept through time, such as how mosquitos have influenced society over thousands of years or how cultural and social pressures have shaped human evolution. Reading books like this offer a different type of insight to the human experience as well as offer fascinating new ideas about how the world works.

As with fiction, there are dozens of categories of non-fiction to explore, and all for different reasons. Maybe you have a problem to solve. Maybe it’s to help you in your career. Maybe you are looking to learn more about a hobby. For any want out there, there’s going to be a book for it. These books do require more attention and thought and therefore should be saved for when you’re relaxed and ready to focus.

Distraction Reading

Can also be known as mindless reading. If you were scrolling social media and found this post, then you were reading as a distraction from something else. Maybe you’re taking a break from a more challenging task, or have a few minutes between activities, or simply have no energy to do something else right now. Regardless of how you got here, you are using reading as a distraction.

Generally, the things we read when we’re looking for a distraction are short and entertaining, but, barring a few exceptions, don’t have much depth. We’re looking at cute pictures and videos, reading Buzzfeed articles, and taking quizzes to find out what our hairstyle says about our personality. Usually, most of what’s consumed is forgotten in the course of hours, if not minutes. It’s the junk food of reading.

And just like junk food, it’s not particularly fulfilling. Nonetheless, we crave these micro bites of entertainment as a distraction from doing harder things.

This type of reading does have it’s place. Think of it as a pressure release valve for when you come up against a task that you know will be challenging and need a moment to not think about it. Or, you’ve hit a point in the middle of working on something where you need a break that doesn’t require brainpower. It’s a nice break.

What’s Better?

It’s not my intention to elevate any one type of reading over another. My intention is just the opposite. I say that we need a healthy balance of all three types of reading to fill different needs. There are times when we need that sweeping escape into a fantasy world and others where we wish to learn. There are times when we need a distraction and only have a few minutes.

What I’d love to encourage is a greater focus on more mindful reading. Instead of always defaulting to distraction reading when the opportunity arises, I’d love readers to consider what they are craving and what they have time to appreciate. If there really is only five or ten minutes between other activities, then sure, scroll away! But, if there’s an hour or an afternoon where there’s not much else to do, I’ve love to see more people indulge in the feast of words waiting to be read.

Thank you for joining me as I shared my thoughts on the types of reading today on the blog. If you enjoyed reading this article and would like to see more, please consider connecting with me by either following the blog here on WordPress, liking my Facebook page, joining my Facebook group, or subscribing to my newsletter. As an added bonus, newsletter subscribers receive free books, stories, and special offers every week.

Change is as Good as a Rest

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This week is Fall Break which means a much appreciated change in my schedule. One whole week where entire mornings aren’t sucked away by all the various needs and dramas created by the crap shoot that is virtual schooling. One whole week where we’ve made a point to have a bit of fun where we can. One whole week where I don’t drag myself to the end of the day and then fall into bed utterly exhausted.

To say I’ve been enjoying it is a massive understatement. I resumed my morning yoga practice, much to the dismay of my bones who’ve gotten rather used to not doing much more than sitting and walking. There’s nothing quite like finding center in the quiet of the morning before the kiddos have woken up.

Despite the change being short lived, or perhaps because of it, it’s made me think of the old English proverb ” A change is as good as a rest” I know that these more relaxed days are numbered and so it was all the more important to make the most of them. Had this been a longer break, it might have taken longer to jump into the activities I enjoy.

Here’s to cool fall days, warm rich meals, and taking a moment to just be.

I hope that this fall break has been a pleasant one for all of you and that you’ve taken the time to do the things you enjoy.

Hi everyone! Jodi here. I’ve been enjoying writing these little Friday tidbits for the past while and sharing my thoughts on life, the universe, and everything. But, like all good things, it’s time for a change. At the end of October, these Friday notes will shift exclusively to my newsletter and this blog will be dedicated to weekly book and movie reviews and the occasional important announcement.

Don’t miss out – join my newsletter today. You’ll get updates, freebies, links, and all sorts of fun stuff.

One-Hit Wonder Syndrome

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It’s a perfect day to talk about an interesting phenomenon – why one-hit Wonders are a thing. A one-hit wonder, is when an unknown band creates a song that goes wildly popular overnight and become instantly famous. They then go on to make other songs because their fans demand it, but those songs don’t catch on and the band slowly fades into obscurity. That band is only known for their one and only hit.

Here are some famous one-hit wonders:

  • “My Sharona” by The Knack
  • “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell
  • “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners
  • “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba

It’s been pointed out that several of these bands did later go on to have other songs hit the charts and rank in the top twenty, but in comparison to the one song that made them famous, the other songs never achieved the same popularity.

One-Hit Wonders in the Business World

The one-hit wonder phenomenon isn’t unique to just the music industry, a similar thing happens in the business world as well. We see it when someone who has never run a business has a great new idea for a service or product and it takes off. Suddenly they are famous for their awesome thing and everyone is talking about it.

What often happens next is that they get an offer they can’t refuse to sell the company for an ungodly amount of money and they return to square one – coming up with an idea for a new business. But this time, the world is watching.

Suddenly, there is a huge amount of pressure to come up with not only something good, but something that could take off again like what happened before. At this point, one of two things can happen, either they fold under the pressure and can’t come up with anything, or they hold this unfounded belief that creating a groundbreaking idea is fairly easy because they’ve done it already. The latter often will then create something uninspired or useless and fail spectacularly. With the world watching, it’s that much more devastating.

But why?

When someone unexpectedly finds success, but hasn’t yet racked up several failures under their belt, they never experience the hardships that give people perspective. The hard work they did must be all that is required to achieve wild success. Everyone else who fails must not be working at the same level. Sometimes, they even start believing that they have a special talent that granted them this success. Other people just aren’t as special as they are and that’s what makes them fail.

What they don’t realize is that wild success, especially in a business venture, requires more than just hard work. A series of uncontrollable factors must line up at the same time, such as what is popular in the market at the moment, what needs exist among buyers, and what has recently caught everyone’s interest. Should the timing be wrong and these factors not present to make a product look even more desirable, then no amount of hard work can make the product go viral. Yes, it can be successful, but not wildly so.

One-Hit Wonders in the Writing World

Yes, this is a real thing, although it presents itself differently. There are a rare few authors who find wild success with their first novel. The novel itself is something they’ve worked on for possibly years and years before going through the process to find the perfect agent and publisher who were willing to take a risk. As with businesses, the same uncontrollable factors are at play here as well. There has to be a significant group of people hungry for this type of book all the same time. Sometimes this is because a wildly popular movie has turned a new group of readers to the genre. Sometimes the global social climate makes certain titles much more appealing.

With authors, everyone who loved their first book are far more willing to pick up the second, which means there is already a certain level of success already baked in when they release that second book. But, there is also a lot that can go wrong. They had all the time in the world to finish their first book and no expectations. This can make writing easier and creativity come faster.

When writing a second book, often that same author will have deadlines and also the fear of trying to live up to the expectations of their fans. They have to produce something better, faster, and under pressure. While some writers can rise to the challenge, many end up creating a product that isn’t as good.

The moral of this story

The lesson here is that failure is a vital part of learning to appreciate success and being able to replicate it going forward. For those who had a lucky break their first time at the bat and perhaps hit a home run, that doesn’t make them the best player on the team.

Don’t be afraid to fail. It’s the best teacher of experience you could ever have.

Hi everyone! Jodi here. I’ve been enjoying writing these little Friday tidbits for the past while and sharing my thoughts on life, the universe, and everything. But, like all good things, it’s time for a change. At the end of October, these Friday notes will shift exclusively to my newsletter and this blog will be dedicated to weekly book and movie reviews and the occasional important announcement.

Don’t miss out – join my newsletter today. You’ll get updates, freebies, links, and all sorts of fun stuff.

The Sixth Month of a Crisis

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September 2020 marks the sixth month that the world has been forced to adapt to a new way of life. Congratulations for making it this far, it hasn’t been easy. We’ve learned new ways to stay safe and still get the things done that need doing. It seems natural that at this point we should be coping fairly well with the situation.

But, the reverse is true. For many, this month marks the hardest struggle so far. Everyone’s emotional batteries are drained, the gas tank of motivation has run dry, and no matter how hard we push, it seems like we can’t get any momentum. We are all tired.

This is a well-known phenomenon that happens at the sixth month of a crisis. It is at this point that our reserves that we’ve been slowly chipping away at, finally run out. The well of our ability to handle change finally dries up.

Fear not. There is some good news. While we all might hit our lowest points yet this month, we aren’t condemned to stay there. Within a few weeks, the fog lifts and the energy and drive to get stuff done returns.

For me, this sixth month mark happened at the same time as the kiddos starting virtual school. These first few weeks have been a challenge as we are learning how to handle teachers expectations and complete assignments. I thought my frustration and exhaustion was a direct result from feeling like I had too much to do and too little time.

It’s a relief to hear that it’s not all because of a shifting work load. At least not all of it. The amount of stuff that needed to be managed quadrupled overnight while I’m still stuck with the same 24 hours that everyone else has. But, there was a very real sensation that I was scraping the bottom of the barrel while trying to juggle cats at the same time.

I’m glad to know that at least part of this struggle comes from the fatigue of hitting the sixth month.

So if you’ve found that these last weeks have felt harder, you aren’t alone. Literally everyone will hit this low point. Give yourself some grace, allow yourself to take the time you need to rest and adapt, this low point won’t last forever.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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Fear is the Mind Killer

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The new Dune is coming out and I’m both excited and worried. With such a huge universe and, dare I say, cult following, the production company can’t afford to screw this up. The trailer I saw looked awesome, so my hopes are up. Then again, my hopes were sky high about the new Mulan, and the reviews are all pretty bad.

I’m crossing my fingers anyway.

That’s not what I wanted to talk about. Today, I wanted to talk a bit about fear as it relates to anxiety and all those other pesky negative emotions. The subject’s been on my mind off and on for a while now. I’ve used the whole “fear is the mind killer” spiel as part of my Writer’s Block class. Fear and anxiety are often a symptom of a larger worry that’s preventing someone from reaching their creative goals, and just like in Dune, you have to face it and let it pass through you.

It’s easier said than done. I know. Boy, how I know.

I got to stare down one such fear this week when I took on a new project. It’s wasn’t that I didn’t have faith that I could do it. With enough time and research I definitely could. The fear that was staring back at me was that it was new and there were too many variables that I didn’t understand yet. I was afraid that even with my best effort I was going to miscalculate and end up wasting a lot of effort creating something that couldn’t be used.

For me, time is precious beyond belief. The only thing more precious than time is the energy to be able to use it well, which is a subject for another day.

This stupid set of fears not only made finishing this assignment that much harder, it totally stressed me out.

Part of me believes that I’m the only one who rides this emotional roller coaster far too often for my own good. This isn’t true, of course. There are hoards of people who constantly push their limits and do amazing things. The difference here is that no one gets to see all the fear and anxiety behind their success. The part of the discussion about the price of taking even the smallest steps forward is often missing and all we see is how easy that success seems

Fun fact: Getting hard things done is, well, hard.

The great thing about facing challenge and finding success is that the next time you have to face a similar challenge, it’s that much easier.

I’m all for easier.

With each stair conquered there are less stairs to climb to reach the top.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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Don’t Drop the Glass Ball

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This week I heard an analogy that struck a chord with me about work life balance. The gist is that we are juggling several different elements of our life at any given time. These elements can include family, health, work, etc. All of these elements are important, but some are obviously far more important than others. Some of these balls we are juggling are made of rubber, but some are made of glass. Rubber balls can be dropped on occasion and not suffer for it. On the other hand, anytime a glass ball is dropped, you risk damaging or completely shattering it.

The original use of this analogy stems back to 1991 and the Georgia Tech commencement speech given by Brian Dyson. former CEO of Coca-cola Enterprises. While he considers lots of things to be glass balls and only work to be a rubber ball, the point is that when it comes down to it, some things are far more important in the long run than others.

Most of this week I’ve been really distracted. We started with Monday being a holiday which always throws me off balance. Usually Monday is my most productive day, but shifting my Monday work to Tuesday just feels wrong. Then, on Tuesday, we had the doom storm of death literally blow across the valley and rip out massive trees and power lines in its wake. Wednesday I embarked on a new endeavor, and new always causes anxiety regardless of how great the opportunity is.

The image of holding that glass ball and keeping it from falling served as a great anchor, even when things felt crazy.

Any one want one of my rubber balls? It seems I have waaaay too many.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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Book Review: Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg Mckeown

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This is my non-fiction pick for the quarter and it definitely met expectations. It seems that for many, doing more and being increasingly busy is a fail proof way to find success. The ideas inside this book argue that this philosophy is not only wrong, but it can actually prevent success. It comes down to a forest and trees problem. If you are too caught up in the trees, meaning meaningless or unproductive tasks, it’s all too easy to not see the forest, or the big picture. For someone who constantly feels that push to do more, this is a welcome message.

What is Essentialism?

Put simply, essentialism is a conscious effort to pare down efforts and activities so that you spend your energy only on projects that are meaningful and help make progress towards a goal. This means only taking on projects and assignments that make sense for you both personally and career wise.

Mckeown uses the example of life being like a well-organized closet. When a closet is cluttered and full of clothes that we don’t love or don’t fit, it’s hard to make decisions on what to wear. It’s hard to find what we need. Facing that mess is daunting. To organize a closet that’s stuffed to the roof with needless items requires lots of decision making and time. Items that are no longer needed must be disposed of. This requires time and planning or they might end up in bags somewhere else, like the basement.

Once the closet is clean, it is so much easier to see what is available and what we need to replace. Less time is made daily on deciding what to wear leaving more time and energy for more important tasks. However, a system needs to be put in place to maintain this clean space or in a matter of months, the closet will be cluttered and need to be cleaned out again.

We must regard our lives much like a closet. If we know exactly what our style is, and what fits us, it’s easy to choose the outfits and activities that work for what we are trying to achieve. This is the same as making smart goals that are measurable and on a time table. If we don’t know what we are trying to achieve, then it’s impossible to decide what activities and efforts will get us there.

By learning what is essential for us personally, we can easier choose what we need to do, or need to say no to. Often saying no can be the hardest part. However, with time, being clear on your needs and being understanding of the needs of other can only garner more respect.

My Review

This was a timely message for me. I suffer from “got to do everything” syndrome and very rarely say no to projects unless it clearly doesn’t fit my schedule. Reading the different examples of successful people who employed these ideas helped reinforce the idea that more isn’t better and quality is always better than quantity.

The book is well written, insightful, and full of great examples. Like most non-fictions, it does tend to repeat itself to emphasize the main points and themes. This comes with the territory and is expected, so I can’t fault it. Since I was listening to the audiobook while doing mindless chores, the repetition was helpful.

Recommendations

For all of those overachievers out there who are killing themselves to get ahead, this is a must read. It teaches the importance of prioritizing efforts and being mindful of the big picture, which is extremely helpful for those who always find there is too much on their plate.

This book was intended for business people and those who are working to get ahead in their careers or entrepreneurial endeavors. Which means that those of us not working in a corporate atmosphere might not relate to the majority of the examples, myself included. I don’t work in a corporate environment, but I do manage lots of details and schedules and am working to elevate my writing career one task at a time.

This book might be super frustrating for those of us who can’t be in charge of their schedules and plans, such as full-time parents with young children and babies in the home. That said, there are some important ideas that are beneficial to them as well, such as finding mindfulness in each task and being present.

I give Essentialism 4/5 stars for reminding me that there is power in simplicity.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

You can also find updates and post notifications on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram – chose the one you like the most!

The Power of Asking Questions

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Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

I’ve taught a class about how to overcome creative roadblocks several times over the last few months. It’s become more and more relevant as the stresses of COVID and the political atmosphere have made creativity harder to find. The largest part of the class is learning to ask yourself questions and then allowing yourself to answer them honestly.

Questions have a power all on their own. They demand answers. Good questions lead to a greater understanding. Vague questions lead to more confusion. If you can learn the skill of asking yourself the right questions, you can solve a whole host of problems.

The other night I woke up to a panic attack. When it was happening, all I knew is that my mind was spinning and I couldn’t shake the feeling of being overwhelmed. It felt as if I had too many things on my plate and there was no possible way to get them all done. What was worse, it also felt as if there were invisible things on my plate that I needed to figure out, but no clues as to what they might be.

The attacks don’t happen often, thankfully. This one was caused by being overtired. The night before I hadn’t slept well because we were camping and I was too hot. Piled on top of that was the coming of another Monday and still not feeling confident about how online schooling was working for my kiddos and if they had the support they needed from me. I know the teachers are doing the best they can and I’m grateful for them. All I need now is for them all to agree to use the cool virtual teaching tools in roughly the same way so I can easily find what the assignments are and make sure they get done.

In a funny way, being part of online school has taught me far more about my kids personalities than anything else.

When these panic attacks strike, it’s time to start asking questions. What are my biggest worries? What of these worries can I do anything about? What of these worries can I let go of? What plans do I need to make to address the things I can change? What needs to be added to my to do list so I can stop trying to hold it in my head? What needs to change in my schedule to accommodate these needs that hasn’t already been added?

As the questions keep flowing, the answers start coming. I write down everything with the intention that no one will see these words besides myself. This writing is a tool, not a product. Once all the questions have been asked and answered and my pages are full, I know what direction I need to go.

There are still stresses, and if I don’t take better care of myself, there’s a chance of another attack in the near future. But, I have a plan in place and the confidence in knowing that the plan works.

Here’s to conquering each and every one of life’s challenges, both big and small.

5 Quotes for Back to School

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It’s that time of year again, school time. For many of us that means wistfully thinking of our own school days of the past. For the rest of us, it means getting kiddos up and out the door as they embark on their own adventures of discovery and learning. Whichever way it is, let’s send them off with an empowering saying or two, or five.

I’m not going to school just for the academics. I wanted to share ideas, and be around people who are passionate about learning.

Emma Watson

Intelligence plus character – that is the true goal of education.

Martin Luther King Jr.

You learn something every day if you pay attention.

Ray LeBlond

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.

John Dewey

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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Climbing Walls

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Last week I talked about how I had gotten myself stuck in a story problem and hadn’t managed to navigate my way out of it. This isn’t some remedial math course, honestly actual math problems are so much easier. All the information is there, you just have to figure out how the pieces fit together to find the answer.

No, this was an entirely different kind of story problem. One that had an actual story broken in the middle of it. In the past, I’d keep writing scenes until something worked. The action of putting words on the page often loosens up the creativity enough for a great idea to fall out. But considering where my anxiety and stress levels have been these past few weeks, not only does that option seem tedious and time wasting, I simply don’t have the energy to play with ideas and scenes that I will probably have to throw away.

I had a wall. How do we get over walls? We build ladders.

When we can’t build a ladder, we break out the sledgehamers.

Whatever you do, don’t take a sledgehammer to your ladder. That really doesn’t help.

As the week kept trickling by, and I knew I would have to be accountable to you dear people, I knuckled down and got to work – yesterday. I lined up all the loose ends, teased out the biggest issues, and tackled the dragon that was holding my ending hostage. After all of that, I’m proud to say I now have a direction to follow, and several burns and scratches that probably need some attention.

So yeah, I could still use some ice cream, and maybe a band-aid or two.

Now the real work of getting the thing written can begin. Yay?

Could someone tell the dragon that I’m out of treats and he needs to go home?

Down, Zeddicus!