Author Archives: Jodi L. Milner

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About Jodi L. Milner

Jodi L. Milner is a writer, mandala enthusiast, and educator. Her epic fantasy novel, Stonebearer’s Betrayal, was published in November 2018 and rereleased in Jan 2020. She has been published in several anthologies. When not writing, she can be found folding children and feeding the laundry, occasionally in that order.

Christmas Movie Review: Die Hard (1988)

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I’ll be the first to argue that this isn’t actually a Christmas movie – it’s an action film that takes place at Christmas. Although, for fairness sake, when most Christmas movies are closely examined, they aren’t either – I’m looking at you Home Alone.

I rewatched Die Hard this last week because beyond all odds, hubby hadn’t seen it. And … it’s a Christmas movie that we could enjoy together that the kiddos wouldn’t be interested in – I’m totally counting this as date night.

The Story

John McClane is a New York cop who flies to Los Angeles to reconnect with his wife and kids. She moved when she got a job offer she couldn’t refuse and he didn’t follow because he loved his job in New York. The couple experienced serious relationship friction ever since.

He meets her at her swanky Christmas office work party at the Nakatomi Plaza and because this is an action movie, the whole building is seized by German radical Hans Gruber and his odd assortment of Euro-henchmen. Those in the party are promptly held hostage, but McClane slips away and starts assessing the situation as only a professional NY cop can.

Knowing he can’t beat Gruber and his team alone, McClane tries to call in the local authorities only to find the phone lines have been cut. He pulls a fire alarm, but it gets cancelled before anyone responds. He finally gets a hold of one of the radios and uses the emergency line to call in the situation only to be considered a prankster.

A single patrol car is sent out to verify that everything is okay. As the car is leaving, McClane, desperate to get the LA cop’s attention, throws one of Gruber’s team that he’d already killed in self-defense out the window at the car and then shoots at it with a machine gun.

With the authorities officially alerted and Gruber eager to get his hands on McClane, the situation turns into a game of cat and mouse. McClane is simply trying to not die as Gruber keeps increasing his efforts to find and eliminate him. It’s not really McClane’s fault that Gruber’s team keeps dying as they try to kill him.

All the while, Gruber is working his master plan, which is to get his hands on the untraceable bonds held in the building’s vault. He’s got a lock breaker who simply needs time to force the different levels of security. Everything else going on is a ruse to distract the authorities to what’s actually happening.

Does Gruber succeed? No. His end in the movie is perhaps the most spectacular and has been meme’d more than a few times. Even better, McClane also succeeds, not in saving the building, but realizing that he’d do anything to keep his wife safe and how much he really does love her (and also what a jerk he’s been in the past).

My Review

I don’t watch a lot of true action films, so returning to the genre is a nice change. Die Hard has held up remarkably well for being over 30 years old. The story is just as relevant now as it was back in 1988, if not more so, and the only parts of it that feel dated are the massive 80s hair on the women. Contrary to many contemporary action films, there is a well constructed story with good motivations pushing the different characters to do what they do. Gruber wants money, McClane wants to protect his family and the innocent bystanders in the building. Even the secondary characters are fairly well fleshed out.

There are a few strange plot choices within the story that are simply there for the story’s sake. McClane, following the advice from his seat buddy on the plane, removes his shoes to help deal with the stress and jet lag of travel. This makes it so he’s dealing with the entire hostage situation barefoot in a building with lots of broken glass, something that significantly ups the tension. The other strange plot choice is Gruber, a German national, counting on the FBI to cut the power to the building at a strategic time in order to release the last lock on the vault. It’s enough far fetched that the plan makes Gruber look either wildly brilliant, or a little crazy.

In the end, I was entertained and that’s all that matters. The main character learned how much he loved his family and he drives off into the Christmas night to the sound of Christmas music. So yeah, it’s totally a Christmas movie.

My recommendations

It goes without saying that this is not a kid’s movie. There’s unnecessary violence, blood splattering, plenty of language, and even a few short instances of top-only nudity. That said, older teens would probably really enjoy it for the well paced action that doesn’t push so far that it gets boring. There’s nothing that’s truly frightening or suspenseful, just action.

Honestly, I would recommend this for a fun, date night flick. There’s not a lot of complicated dialogue to follow so you can talk during the movie and not miss much.

I give Die Hard 4/5 stars for being exactly what it’s supposed to be and nothing more.

Thank you for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a free read as a bonus.

All movie images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

Book Review: Strange the Dreamer, by Laini Taylor

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Beautiful prose, an amazing story, fascinating characters, Strange the Dreamer delivered an experience above and beyond my expectations. When a fellow writer, who also loves all the pretty words, gushes about a book, you know you have to go read it. A huge thank you to Candace for recommending it, you can go check out her review here.

The Story

Lazlo Strange, an orphan child raised by monks and librarians, possesses an unusual passion for a legend that most dismiss as a fairy tale. He dreams of a place called Weep, an unusual city held under an unusual curse – anyone who speaks or thinks the name of the city experiences a feeling of dread paired with the taste of ashes. But, unlike other people, Lazlo remembers a time when the town had a different name, a beautiful name that filled the mind with wonder and butterfly wings. He also remembers the day when that name was stolen from him.

It is this theft that drives him to study everything there is to know about Weep. He hopes that one day he can find that name that once filled him with so much delight. As he grows older, it is this study that gives him a unique understanding of the legendary city. When a delegation from Weep visits his city seeking adventurers and scientists, Lazlo feels compelled to go with them – and despite his lack of real skills, is allowed because he knows stories. The leader of this delegation, none other than Eril-Fane the Godslayer himself, seeks the best scientists to rid Weep of the floating citadel shaped like a massive seraphim who’s outstretched wings prevent sunlight from reaching the city.

When Lazlo reaches Weep he encounters a strange blue girl in his dreams named Sarai. Lazlo doesn’t know that this is a marking of the cursed godspawn and the two of them instantly form a bond that is beyond friendship. His glorious imagined vision of Weep fills her with such delight that she can’t help but want to be part of it and the man who envisioned a world filled with so much joy and magic.

Naturally, none of this can last. Every element that brings Lazlo and Sarai together will be challenged. Eril-Fane wants the citadel which is Sarai’s home, destroyed. One of the scientists, Thyon Nero, is determined to undermine Lazlo’s every step. Minya, Sarai’s sister, wants Eril-Fane and all that dare threaten the citadel including Lazlo, dead, and wants Sarai to do it using her godspawn power over dreams.

Does anyone get what they want? In the way that only a truly masterful storyteller can manage it, the answer is both yes and no. I won’t elaborate further. No spoilers for you. But, if you’re dying to find out, here’s an amazing synopsis that covers literally everything.

My Review

This book blew me away. I’m a huge sucker for gorgeous prose and metaphorical language, not to mention amazing sensory detail, so all the poetic phrases were indeed welcome. In fact, I loved it so much that I immediately sought out the sequel, Muse of Nightmares.

With fantasy titles there comes an expectation of a complex storyline. While Strange the Dreamer has a complex story, the reading experience doesn’t feel complicated. The story alternates between Sarai and Lazlo’s experiences and as they draw closer together, the experiences draw closer as well. The main conflicts are always clear in the characters mind so as readers we know not only what that character wants, but why it’s important.

What does feel complicated is how the prose is assembled. While most fantasy titles published today stick almost exclusively to third-person limited, where we witness the story through the eyes and experience of the main character in third-person, Strange the Dreamer swings in and out of omniscient. This is usually frowned upon, mostly because when done poorly it’s jarring and distracting – and it’s almost always done poorly. For Strange the Dreamer, it feels right. We flow from one character’s thoughts to the next and the technique in Taylor’s hands gives the prose a very appropriate dream-like feel.

The characters were expertly created to be not only unique and well constructed, but unusual enough in each of their motivations to give the story multiple layers of interest. There’s not an ordinary character in the entire book, and that’s impressive for an epic of this size. In addition, the settings were also crafted with the same amount of care making them not only unique, but supremely interesting as well.

So yeah. I’m kind of in love.

My Recommendations

This book is still in YA fiction, but it reads much older than that. The recommended reading age starts at 9th grade, and I agree. There’s just enough adult themes and yearning that it might be harder for younger readers to relate with. There’s no swearing, minimal and appropriate gore, and it does tease at nudity, but never actually gets there. The kissing scenes do get quite descriptive, but don’t progress to anything more.

I mentioned gorgeous poetic prose throughout the book. This might make it harder for those who struggle with metaphoric language to enjoy the story, simply because everything is drenched in it. It also slows down the pacing enough to frustrate those who really want to see what happens next. For me, this wasn’t a problem because the beauty of the journey was just as rewarding as getting there.

Also, if you don’t like fantasy because there are elements that are hard to believe, you might struggle here as well. All significant story elements are anchored in entirely speculative elements. However, all of the motivation is strictly tied to realistic emotional responses which humanizes the unfamiliar and makes it all easier to digest.

I give Strange the Dreamer a rare 5/5 for excelling in all critical storytelling elements and doing it beautifully.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my Fantasy Reader Community for special offers, free reads, and updates.

Book Review: To Dream in Daylight, by Candace J. Thomas

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It’s always a treat when a friend puts out a new book, and this is no exception. Candie and I first met at my very first event where I attended as an actual author. My short story “Breath”, which is now the freebie I give to those joining my newsletter list, had been picked up by a small press for a fantasy anthology and I was ridiculously proud of it.

Candie, on the other hand, already had two books out at the time, making her a superstar in my eyes. She was everything I wanted to be, friendly, confident, and knowledgeable about the publishing world. We instantly became friends and co-conspirators.

Which makes me even more excited to share her book with my readers.

The Story

Adrianna, or Adri for short, is a classic introvert. She loves curling up with books, writing, and only spending time with people in short meaningful bursts. Ever since she was little, she’d had a recurring dream with the same boy, Simon. They’ve essentially grown up together, neither knowing that the other was a real, living, breathing person – that is until Simon spots Adri in a random video online.

Completely dumbstruck by learning that his dream girl is real, Simon is compelled to meet her in person. One problem, he doesn’t know where she is.

My Review

This story is told from both Simon’s and Adri’s point of view in alternating chapters, with dream chapters nestled in-between. We see their lives unfold piece at a time and how this unusual dream the two of them share influences their decisions. Because of this unique construction, the story is definitely a slow burn. Different connections and realizations are carefully orchestrated to keep the reader wanting to see what’s next.

What I loved most is how the dream sequences were painted. As dreamers, they have control over the setting of the dream, meaning that these dreams occur in all the places an introvert would ever wish to go including Middle Earth, a space station, and different beautiful natural settings. Not only does this reveal several of the different interests of the dreamers, but it gives the reader a fascinating question to answer – where would you visit in your dream?

My biggest challenge with reading this book is that because it’s written in first person, it often took reading a few paragraphs of the new chapter before I as a reader was able to settle into the right character’s mindset. The chapter headers do tell the reader where the chapter occurs, which is a huge clue to who’s head you’re in, but I personally needed a minute or two for it to click.

Thomas does a wonderful job creating compelling characters with great emotional depth and dreams of their own. I was eager to see if Simon succeeded in his quest to find Adri and was very happy with the ending.

My Recommendations

This book is perfect for those who love an interesting romantic comedy. It’s got all the feel good connections, the threats to happiness, and two people that are perfect for each other, should they ever meet. There is that touch of magic with the dream elements, but not enough to deter anyone who isn’t fond of the fantasy genre.

As for age recommendations, there are several instances of alcohol consumption as well as appropriate romantic leanings that don’t stray into anything more than kissing. For that, I’d recommend this book for high school aged readers and older.

I give To Dream in Daylight 4/5 for being a cute romantic read that’s perfect for curling up with after a long day.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list.

TV Review: Lower Decks

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This might flag me as a super nerd, but my little trekkie heart couldn’t pass this one up. Lower Decks is a officially liscensed Star Trek cartoon where instead of following the top brass as they brave strange new frontiers, we follow several lower deck crew members as they struggle fervently to not totally screw everything up.

Bravely going where no man has gone before. Or woman for that matter.

The Story

Ensign Mariner is a tough talking, utterly unambitious, oddly street smart member of the USS Cerritos crew. The goal of the Cerritos is to make second contact, meaning they follow around the more important discovery missions to do all the paper work. Mariner is also the daughter of the ship’s captain, Captain Carol Freeman, a fact that drives both of them a little crazy.

Each episode the crew is assigned to complete a new mission, much like any traditional Star Trek, and with each new mission we get to see how the different characters perform under pressure. Mariner’s friends represent different life philosophies, and as such react to all these bizarre events in very different ways.

Mariner’s closest friend, Brad Boimler, is desperate to get into command to the point that he will literally do anything to gain attention. This gets him into trouble, as his efforts are entirely misguided and shallow. Instead of being excellent at his job, he tends to seek out shortcuts instead. This makes him Mariner’s polar opposite. She is excellent at her job, despite being an inappropriate loud mouth while she does it, and she also has a knack for getting people on her side, something essential for a commanding officer.

There are also Tendi and Rutherford, two thoroughly geeked out engineers who fixate on how wonderful it is to do tedious engineering tasks. When it comes to real issues and dangers, the two are completely useless.

Mariner (center) has Boimler in a headlock as Rutherford and Tendi watch

My Review

Lower Decks is an irreverant and super amusing look at an industry that has prided itself in being serious since 1966. The whole feeling of the show feels as if someone took the attitudes from either Rick and Morty or Futurama and smashed it together with Star Trek: The Next Generation. Is it a perfect fusion of the two? Nah. Of course there are areas that could use tightening. Is it an entertaining show? Absolutely.

Much of the joy of this show is that it takes all the expectations of a traditional Star Trek – all the stiff stoicism, all the adherence to the Prime Directive, all the space ship utopia – and pokes fun at it in a fresh new way.

The one thing that’s missing from Lower Decks is a deeper meaning hiding beneath all the slapstick and violence, like we find in Rick and Morty. There’s no real message or theme that pulls the season together. Although it’s not strictly necessary, it would have turned something fun to watch into something that’s also interesting to think about.

Even with all that, I thought Lower Decks was fun to watch because of all the fun it pokes at traditional Star Trek all while carefully staying faithfully close to the franchise image and ideology.

And yes, they even snuck Q in there for his obligatory episode.

My Recommendations

There is a lot of gory freakish cartoony violence in this one, more than expected or strictly necessary. As the violence is usually used as part of a joke, the severity of it all doesn’t really register. It’s just kind of gross. The general subject matter of each episode also tends to skew into adult topics that often border on the inappropriate. There are plenty of mild swears, anything more serious is bleeped out. As for nudity, I think there are a few naked butts in there, anything else is blurred. There is talk of romantic interest, such as flirting, kissing, and dating and is at times a bit rude.

To put it short – this one’s for the adults and the teens they let play.

I give Lower Decks a 4/5 stars for being a fun romp that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my fantasy reader community – there’s a free story in it for you!

All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

Throwback Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean, On Stranger Tides

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This one’s the forth movie and the one with the mermaids, just in case anyone was struggling to tell the difference between one adventure to the next. Heaven knows I can’t keep them straight either. Ok, where were we?

Right.

In the continuing effort to indoctrinate the kiddos in all things nerd, we continued our quest down the rabbit hole that is the Pirates of the Caribbean universe, and this time both Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann have been left out of it.

I’ll take your Keira Knightly and raise you a Penelope Cruz!

The Story

Jack Sparrow is on trial in London for crimes against the crown. No surprise there as he is a nearly famous pirate captain and all that. But, instead of finding Jack under the prisoner’s hood, we find his first mate Gibbs instead. This sets us off on a long, arduous journey of deception, impersonation, and misplaced trust that continues throughout the rest of the movie with each of the major players.

Angelica impersonates Jack, using his legendary status to hire a crew out of London. Jack impersonates a judge to save Gibbs. Captain Barbossa changes teams, and gives up piracy to become a privateer of the crown, ridiculous wig and all, and the mermaids can shift to human form. Angelica lies to Jack saying she’s pretending to be Blackbeard’s daughter to reach the fountain of youth. This is a bit of a double cross, as she actually is Blackbeard’s daughter, but creating the lie made getting Jack to join the crew easier and their chance of success greater.

To say things get complicated feels redundant at this point, as every Pirates movie so far seems like it tries to out do the prior in complexity in some way or another.

The real story is about the legendary fountain of youth and each pirate’s captain’s reasoning for needing to reach it. Angelica wants more time with her father after their lifelong unexplained estrangement. Blackbeard wants to defeat a prophecy that he’ll be killed by a one legged man within a fortnight and continue being the most famous pirate ever. Jack, well, Jack never really is sure what he wants, but there is an inkling there that he wants to protect Angelica because they used to be together. And the Spanish – did I mention the Spanish? They’re in here as well, because needless complexity – they think the fountain of youth is an ungodly abomination and want it destroyed.

I mentioned mermaids. There are also freaky killer mermaids who’s sole purpose is to drag sailors down to the icy depths and, eat them? It’s not really clear. Part of the ritual of the fountain of youth is to drink a mermaid’s tear from one of the twin silver chalices found in the wreckage of none other than the 200 years missing Ponce de Leon.

Still following me? Why? Even my kids threw up their hands at this point and called the writers some not very nice names. I tried not to take it personally. In all honesty, the writers they managed to get all this stuff in there that I’ll stake money the producers wanted and still created an okay-ish storyline. Kudos to them.

After lots of swash, swash, buckle, buckle in every moment possible, although strangely enough no epic ship battles with cannons in this one, we draw all the different forces together at the fountain of youth and the various captains battle it out in their own ways.

I’d tell you who wins, but that would be all spoilery of me – which isn’t very nice.

Meet our star crossed lovers, the mermaid and the missionary, who are currently sitting in a pile of broken glass.

My Review

This one is probably my least favorite of the five movies only because there are so many elements that don’t need to be there and don’t make a whole lot of sense, like the Spanish fleet. While it’s okay to introduce a new pirate captain, if you’re keeping track there has been a new significant captain in each movie( and a small hoard of insignificant captains in movie three), having the extra Spanish fleet and captain in this movie felt underdeveloped.

The only reason he had to be there is to add relevance to Ponce de Leon being a famous Spanish explorer. Adding them in was a way to tie a few of the many trailing plot threads together. That, and the Spanish costumes and aesthetic were kinda hot. So, there’s that.

I would have liked Will and Elizabeth to have been part of this movie because they were significant parts of the first three. However, if they are supposed to now be in a safe and committed relationship, it doesn’t make sense for them to be in there unless yet another story line was introduced. The single female role of Angelica couldn’t have been swapped for Elizabeth by any stretch of the imagination. Will could only appear if the story needed the Flying Dutchman to make an appearance. So it was a good thing they got left out. I guess.

The mermaid bit also felt underdeveloped and forced. It was as if the producers were looking through pirate lore and noticed they hadn’t mentioned mermaids yet and did a brainstorming session of how to incorporate them into the film. Their whole contribution to the story was the single forced tear and a very light romance with a character whose entire reason to be in the story is to be the religious voice of reason – and fall in love with a mermaid.

In all, Pirates 4 has an ages old mystery to be solved, but it turns out finding the fountain of youth is kind of easy, so they threw in some extra action and romance to liven things up.

Did I mention the burning coal cart chase? They literally threw in a car chase in case the explainy bits got boring in the beginning.

Recommendations

If you’ve made it this far in the series you might as well keep going. The already established captains do a great job at what they are already good at doing and that’s pretty entertaining. The story, while weak in some aspects, has lots of interesting emotional elements going on, none of which feel terribly compelling, but are amusing nonetheless.

The violence, while still there, is notably less intense than the other movies and, since it’s a Disney, the cursing is non-existent. But, there are some lovely nekked mermaids who remain carefully draped and shadowed so you don’t see anything. Good thing they have long hair or they’d have to change the rating of the film. And get a different production company.

I rate Pirates of the Caribbean, On Stranger Tides 2.5 of 5 stars for too many underdeveloped ideas.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a signup bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

Movie Review: Ghostbusters, Answer the Call (2016)

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♫ When there’s something strange, in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? ♪

Shout it with me now – GHOSTBUSTERS!

I grew up watching the original Ghostbusters and remember being both a little terrified and thrilled by it. It came out when I was only four and I most definitely saw it when I was way too young. It gave me nightmares for months, but even then I still wanted to watch it. Fun fact: it’s also the movie that taught me my first swear words. My parents were thrilled, I tell ya.

The newest reinvention of Ghostbusters takes the original movie and gives it a huge facelift – namely by swapping out the all-male ghostbusting team for a female cast and swapping the ditzy secretary to Chris Hemsworth. (Seriously, watch it just for that – so funny.) While the basic storyline stays the same, the locations and ghosts get an update as well, making the story more relevant to this decade of viewers.

The Story

Erin Gilbert is a recognized physicist working at Columbia college and is trying her best to fit in, and more importantly, be treated as an equal among her peers. Needless to say, this goal is challenged when her old friend and fellow physicist continues to push a book about ghosts the two of them wrote years before.

In a desperate attempt to get Abby to pull the ridiculous book down, Erin agrees to help Abby with a paranormal investigation of a haunted mansion where they witness and get slimed by a very real ghost. The footage is posted online and Erin loses her job.

With nowhere else to go and a new found excitement for the paranormal, Erin agrees to join the team and they start taking calls for other ghost sightings, significantly more sightings than what should be happening. As they work through the different cases, they realize that the sightings follow along ancient supernatural ley lines and there is something much bigger going on.

At the same time, the Feds join the picture trying to publicly denounce the Ghostbuster’s work to prevent a panic, all while still needing their help. Then, a famous ghost debunker, played by Dan Ackroyd, tries to prove them as phonies as well, only to be tossed out a window by a ghost that one of the Ghostbusters release to prove him wrong.

Turns out, our villain Rowan, has been planting devices around the city that attract ghosts in order to charge his mega device. This ultimately will give him power over all ghosts and earn him the respect and attention he failed to achieve on his own. The Ghostbusters must stop him before all of New York is swallowed into a vortex of doom.

If you want to know how it ends, you best go watch it.

My Review

I literally have avoided this movie because I worried that it wouldn’t do justice to the original, or worse, just be gross and stupid. I was wrong. In the end, I loved what they did with the story itself and how they crafted each of the characters to serve very different roles. It definitely helps that the entire cast is populated with amazing comedians and actors. The Ghostbusters themselves are entirely composed of ladies from Saturday Night Live.

The original Ghostbusters skirted some fairly adult material and I had concerns for this one possibly going down that route as well. Instead, it pulled way back on the weirdly sexual themes contained in the first and made the primary villain a social reject nerd who wanted attention – something far more relatable than an all powerful androgynous catwoman who needed a “Key Master” to open a portal. Yeah, I didn’t realize that was also a sex thing until way too late.

While the majority of the ghosts have also gotten a very cool CGI facelift, fear not – original Slimer does make an appearance.

Recommendations

This Ghostbusters is significantly more family friendly than the original. There are still instances of sexual themes and ogling and a splash of suggestive dialogue, but it felt far less icky. As for violence, there’s an exciting ghost fighting montage during the climax that’s more fun than intense and at one point I think a guy gets shot in the jewels. There is, however, a suicide by electrocution which some could find disturbing, but happens so fast that no one has a chance to dwell on it.

As for language, yeah, it’s a little worse than the original. While there’s still not a ton, it’s there. It’s mostly minor swears and a middle finger. I didn’t really notice it as a problem.

Should young kids watch it? My youngest was fine, although the first ghost startled him a little bit. No nightmare inducing traumas here. That said, he’s got two older siblings that make sure he’s seen and heard just about everything, so there’s not much that phases him. I’d recommend ages 10+ that are okay with mild swearing and moderate intensity scenes with ghosts.

I give Ghostbusters 2016 a rare 5/5 stars for being well written, well executed, and thoroughly enjoyable.

Thank you for stopping by! If you enjoyed this review and would like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list and get a bonus of one of my short stories for free.

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All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

The Story of the Bean Plant

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Seven weeks ago, back in the heady early days of this thing we call virtual schooling, my son and I planted a bean to observe the plant lifecycle in action. Honestly, I didn’t even think the seed would sprout. The packet of green bean seeds had been sitting around in my basement for the last decade with my other gardening hopes and dreams, just waiting for something to happen.

The original assignment was to stick the seeds on a wet paper towel in a plastic baggie so the kid could watch the roots grow and the stem and then the leaves, if you were that lucky. I swear growing up, my seed was always the one that rotted and grew florescent mold instead of actually growing.

So when it fulfilled its seedy destiny and definitely grew, I was both surprised and thankful. I had no desire to explain that sometimes things die to my kiddo. It’s literally last thing on my list of things I don’t want to do during an already insanity causing year.

But, it couldn’t live in that sandwich baggie, it needed to be in dirt – as kiddo so helpfully told me. Every. single. day. Change means risk. Transferring a delicate baby plant that’s clinging for its life on a paper towel to a Solo cup of dirt could very well kill it, especially if I relied on the elephant-like grace of my 3rd grader. At the same time, it was his project. He had every right to do the transfer himself.

Long story short. Our combined efforts didn’t kill the thing. If anything, it might have encouraged it. I have a proud adult bean plant living in my office window that’s ACTUALLY GROWING BEANS.

The big decision now is whether we eat the three whole beans when they are ripe, or let them grow to maturity and repeat the cycle again with the seeds we collect?

The moral to this story is that you might be a bean seed. You might have been stuck in a position where you couldn’t really do anything for an excruciating amount of time until one day you finally got your chance. It might be a wet paper towel in a baggy kind of a chance, but it is better than sitting in an envelope with a bunch of other dry seeds.

You choose. Do you grow like a crazy 3rd grade science experiment? Or do you accidentally let the furry blue mold get you?

There might be risks and dangers. You might risk everything to move up to something bigger and better (with actual dirt!). There might be someone with the grace of a pachyderm there trying to help you, but might actually crush you.

Grow anyway.

And when your three green beans are long and fat, harvest and remember that you once were a little seed.

Hi everyone! Jodi here. I’ve been enjoying writing these little Friday tidbits for the past while and sharing my thoughts on life, the universe, and everything. But, like all good things, it’s time for a change. At the end of October, these Friday notes will shift exclusively to my newsletter and this blog will be dedicated to weekly book and movie reviews and the occasional important announcement.

Don’t miss out – join my newsletter today. You’ll get updates, freebies, links, and all sorts of fun stuff.

Movie Review: Edward Scissorhands

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Crazy as it may sound, this year marks the 30th anniversary of the iconic Tim Burton film, Edward Scissorhands. If that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will. It made me feel old, and that’s saying something. I rewatched the movie to commemorate the anniversary and –

It was really boring.

The Story

Edward Scissorhands is a man who was created by an inventor who is every bit a mad scientist. The inventor lives in a castle on a hill overlooking 1960s iconic suburbia. Robots and machines fill this castle making salads and cookies. Before Edward was complete, his creator dies, leaving him unfinished. Instead of a pair of functioning hands, he has multiple pairs of scissors in place of fingers making him look a bit like Freddy Kruger.

Edward would have been content to stay up in the castle, isolated and alone, but is instead found by an Avon rep, Peg Boggs, who decides he needs to come live with her. As Edward has only known his castle world, the “modern” world comes as a bit of a shock.

All the nosy neighboring housewives start their gossip and a series of hijinks ensues where they discover that Edward is good at topiary, grooming dogs, and cutting hair. When Edward doesn’t give one of the housewives what she wants, she starts spreading rumors about him that he’s different and dangerous.

It all comes to a head when Peg’s daughter comes home with her complete dick of a boyfriend. When he discovers that Edward can open locks, he comes up with an idiotic plan.

Everything goes wrong, naturally, and Edward is chased out of the suburb back to his castle where he lives to this day.

My Review

I’ll admit, I liked the movie a lot more as a kid where the novelty of Edward’s scissor hands was still interesting and watching him be really good at a few unique things was fun. But like most movies rewatched as an adult, I found there were lots of really weird choices made by the writers.

First, it moves sooooo slowly. Granted, movies from the early nineties tended to spend more time building up the vague idea of ambiance, but this was a grueling sort of slow development that felt pointless.

As a writer, I get what they were trying to achieve. Edward is coming from one created world and being transplanted into another which is just as artificial. All the houses are painted in candy bright pastels and are uniformly boring. All the housewives have nothing better to do than gossip and paint their nails until their husbands get home. Edward is the only interesting thing that has happened or will happen.

Showing up far too late in the movie for any real meaning is a forced ethics discussion where Edward has to weigh what’s right over what is kind and he chooses kindness. This is important for the finale where he has to make another difficult ethical choice, this time choosing his own life and that of the girl he likes over the dick boyfriend’s life.

If there’s a moral to the story it’s that everyone should mind their own business or people get hurt.

Recommendations

If you love Tim Burton and his imagery, there are some fascinating bits where you’ll see his earliest style coming through. It’s all over the castle and its grounds. It’s in Edward’s original costume, and it’s loosely in the story as being different is explored.

If you are craving a hit of 60s nostalgia, that’s there as well from the styles of the homes, to the colors, to the stereotyping, to the glass grapes, and to the vintage cars. There’s even a rotary phone and corded land lines.

As one of Johnny Depp’s earliest roles, it’s really strange to see him playing a character with so few speaking lines. He literally spends the movie blank faced and being dragged around by other people.

After those few things there’s nothing in this film that’s terribly interesting. The story isn’t well developed, the characters feel like cardboard, and it moves beyond slowly.

I give Edward Scissorhands 2/5 stars for being slow and boring with only a few rare interesting or beautiful bits. Bonus point added for Danny Elfman’s music.

All images are used here under Fair Use for discussion, review, and educational commentary. They belong to their respective copyright owners.

Change is as Good as a Rest

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This week is Fall Break which means a much appreciated change in my schedule. One whole week where entire mornings aren’t sucked away by all the various needs and dramas created by the crap shoot that is virtual schooling. One whole week where we’ve made a point to have a bit of fun where we can. One whole week where I don’t drag myself to the end of the day and then fall into bed utterly exhausted.

To say I’ve been enjoying it is a massive understatement. I resumed my morning yoga practice, much to the dismay of my bones who’ve gotten rather used to not doing much more than sitting and walking. There’s nothing quite like finding center in the quiet of the morning before the kiddos have woken up.

Despite the change being short lived, or perhaps because of it, it’s made me think of the old English proverb ” A change is as good as a rest” I know that these more relaxed days are numbered and so it was all the more important to make the most of them. Had this been a longer break, it might have taken longer to jump into the activities I enjoy.

Here’s to cool fall days, warm rich meals, and taking a moment to just be.

I hope that this fall break has been a pleasant one for all of you and that you’ve taken the time to do the things you enjoy.

Hi everyone! Jodi here. I’ve been enjoying writing these little Friday tidbits for the past while and sharing my thoughts on life, the universe, and everything. But, like all good things, it’s time for a change. At the end of October, these Friday notes will shift exclusively to my newsletter and this blog will be dedicated to weekly book and movie reviews and the occasional important announcement.

Don’t miss out – join my newsletter today. You’ll get updates, freebies, links, and all sorts of fun stuff.

Book Review: Cinder by Marissa Meyer

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This book has been on my “to be read” list for ages and I finally got my hands on it. There has been a lot of hype about it in my writer circles, so I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Initially, I thought that this might be a steampunk story with a Cinderella twist because of the original cover – a woman’s foot in a high-heeled shoe that was transparent enough to show that the foot was mechanical inside.

Nope. Not steampunk. Not even close.

The newer cover which is a much closer fit to the elements of the story.

The Story

Cinder, is a gifted mechanic, which is good, and part cyborg, which is bad. As you can guess, she’s the Cinderella in our story and has a nasty stepmother as well as two sisters, one who’s kind and the other who is cruel. There is a ball, and a prince, and a lost foot, and even a special vehicle that get’s Cinder to the ball. But, there’s no fairy Godmother.

The other part of this story, strangely enough, is an Anastasia story. There is a lost heir to the Lunar throne, one who, if found, could remove the current wicked Lunar Queen and restore justice and ensure peace between Lunars and Earthens.

And then, there’s the world the story is built within. In this Cinderella story, we are taken to the future where there is a pandemic running wild with no cure. Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming either. Guess I should have read the back cover blurb… Oops. The story is set in New Bejing 126 years after World War IV.

All of these disparate elements come together in a cunningly woven story where Cinder is driven to desperate measures to escape her situation only to find she’s not only needed, but a vital part of solving a much larger issue.

My Review

This was a fun romp through an interesting and well-constructed futuristic world. Meyers has put a ton of effort to weave together fantastical ingredients into a realistic gritty world. Cinder takes the Cinderella role and pushes the boundaries further by first, being really good at something unexpected, and second, wanting something else than to go to the ball and be with the prince.

Part of the fun in this book is seeing how the Cinderella trope is turned on its head and which parts of the story remain faithful. Instead of cute cartoon mice, we have a spunky android helper who’s obsessed with fashion and Prince Kai. Instead of a pumpkin carriage, we have an old gasoline powered car that Cinder fixed herself as an escape vehicle to be able to leave the city, where hover cars couldn’t go. And instead of a huge search to find a missing shoe, Cinder loses her cyborg foot, revealing to the prince that she’s not quite human.

There are a few things that irritated me personally. Meyers doesn’t shy back from letting people who are important to main characters die. There are three instances where we as the reader are teased along that there might be a cure to save these people and it’s all a matter of beating the ticking clock. In most stories, one of these will survive in a dramatic scene where the cure comes at the last possible second. While I see why Meyers chose to not follow the traditional footsteps, as it makes for a much more devastating loss for Cinder, but as a reader I don’t like to be led along to then be robbed of a successful rescue.

The earlier cover with the high-heel shoe and reveal of the cyborg foot.

Recommendations

This makes for a great young adult sci-fi. It’s got lots of action, some tasteful romantic leanings, quite a bit of angst and drama, and great world building. Yes, there are some mild descriptions of blood and injury, mostly relating to the plague like pandemic that’s riddled through the story, but they aren’t excessive or over the top.

For those who love adaptations, this one does a solid job taking the Cinderella story and elevating it to something with more stakes.

I enjoyed Cinder and give it a 4 of 5 stars for being thoroughly entertaining but doing a few things that misled the reader in an annoying way.