I know it’s a author stereotype, but yes, I am an introvert with a huge capital “I”. If you’ve seen me out in the wild, like at a conference or convention, the outgoing person you met is me acting in the role of what I’ve interpreted as my public persona. I’ll start conversations, talk to strangers, and even invite people to discuss their favorite things. None of these are things I’m naturally comfortable with.
Like at all.
This kind of acting requires both mental and physical energy. When the event is over, I go home exhausted. What’s more, being out in the wild like this, even around people I really enjoy, causes a huge amount of anxiety as well. You can sleep off exhaustion. You need special tools to handle anxiety.
If I’m to be really honest with you, there are plenty of other things that cause anxiety as well that shouldn’t. That’s what anxiety is, unusual fear, worry, or dread about things we don’t have control over. For me, the morning rush to get the kids to school is always a big one. Innocent requests to help with kid’s projects are another. Preparing for family outings, meal planning, shopping for clothes … yeah, those things too.
Throw on top of all that the writing and authoring business stuff and I’ve built myself a lovely anxiety sandwich.
There are two things I’ve come to use regularly to manage my anxiety, journaling, and walking.
This isn’t run of the mill journaling used to reflect on the events of the day or capture angsty rants and long winded stories. This is a practice called morning pages. Before sitting down to work, I spend 15-20 minutes filling two composition book pages of the words and thoughts that need to spill out of my brain. It’s like Drano for the mental pipes. Sometimes I ask questions that I’ve been meaning to spend time thinking about and sometimes I use it to get a rant out of my system. Regardless of what ends up on the pages, I always feel better after I’ve done it. What’s better, I often get really good ideas while I write.
While journaling takes care of a lot of the built up mental garbage that needs to be taken out, walking works wonders as an emotional reset button. If the morning’s been stressful, taking a walk before diving into the rest of my days often eliminates the accumulated stress of the morning and makes it possible to not bring that stress into the creative space. It also helps me maintain better energy levels during the day, gets my heart pumping, calms my cravings, and I get a change to play Wizards Unite. For me, that’s super motivating.
Yesterday I didn’t get in my walk because I knew it was going to be a busy day. Come afternoon, my anxiety was unmanageably high and I was raiding every shelf of the pantry for something sweet. By early evening I so tired, I ended up watching TV on the couch. By missing a 40 minute walk, I lost several hours of working time – not to mention ate way too much junk food.
Speaking of which … I haven’t done my walk today because of the rain. If it lets up, I better get out there!
What do you do to manage anxiety? Let’s talk about it!
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I enjoy your honesty. Writing is therapeutic for sure. For me it brings clarity to my crazy world. I also like support groups. Meeting with people in similar circumstances helps me not feel alone in my struggles. This includes writing groups too! Thank you for reminding me of the importance of exercising. I always feel better when I do, so why is it so hard to take that first step? It’s like writing isn’t it? Taking time for self is refreshing and should be a priority. Unfortunately, knowing and doing what’s good are two separate deals.
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Thank you! This year I made a promise to myself that I’d go out walking while the kiddos were at school, so far I’ve only missed two days. It really does help me. It is totally like writing, gotta commit to that blank page no matter how scary or painful it will be!
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