Introverts Guide to Being Stuck Home with all the Family

There’s been an unexpected complication to all this social distancing and working from home. Whereas last week I covered how all you extroverts might find ways to survive being away from groups of people, this week I realized us introverts might be struggling as well. Suddenly, that time we used to have to ourselves is gone. All the times where we used to be able to send kids off to go play or attend classes have vanished. For some of us, we are now homeschooling for the first time ever.

It’s a big change and I’m feeling it far more than I expected I would. I expect many of you are the same. As an introvert, I refuel in the somber silence of my home turf and my cozy spots. Most weeks, my system works wonderfully. There were times of the day where I knew the house would be empty and quiet and I used this time to find my center again – that, and actually get some work done.

Don’t get me wrong, I love having my family at home. But with them here ALL THE TIME those chances to find a little peace and quiet have been ripped away. After five days of it, it’s the closest I’ve come to having a full on panic attack in years because I wasn’t doing a good job of taking care of my needs.

Because having the family at home is like a party that never ends. And you’re the hostess. And everyone is hungry.
Photo by Miguel Teirlinck on Unsplash

This is for all of you introverts out there who are struggling to find balance with all this change.

Mark your territory

Everyone needs a spot where they feel safe and able to relax, introverts especially so. Be intentional in choosing yours. It may be a chair, it might be your side of the bed, it might be a home office or a large beanbag. Remind yourself that it is your safe and quiet place where you can recharge, even if there are other people around. Keep a pair of headphones nearby and some great music ready for when you need to take a few moments and recenter. By being intentional with this space, you can train yourself to associate it with peace and a sense of well-being.

Redefine what your “you” time looks like

Change means compromise. The way you’ve always done something might not be possible with the whole family stuck in the house with you. If you’ve always taken a shower the second everyone leaves the house, you might find yourself frustrated because no one is going anywhere. You might need to wake a touch earlier to ensure a peaceful experience. If that’s not an option, search out ways to make those moments you used to enjoy in silence special. Light a candle. Indulge in special treat. Turn on your favorite songs.

Communicate clearly

There will be people in your life that just can’t understand why your “you” time is so important. If you find yourself getting anxious, tired, or upset more easily because you can’t find a good balance between being around people and being alone, you need to be able to share this with the people around you. If you don’t they might start assuming things that aren’t necessarily true. Start with the obvious. “I’m having a hard time always being around everyone this much.” Then, work towards asking for help getting what you need. “What would really help is having an hour to just read without interruptions.”

Stay in tune with your brain fairies

Things won’t be perfect. There will probably not be as much quiet alone time as you really need. This is where it’s critical to stay in tune with what your brain and body are telling you and coming up with methods that work for you to maintain your cool. If you are feeling anxious, practice a breathing exercise. If you need quiet, go take a walk. Having a plan will give you the tools you need when things start getting overwhelming.

Be gracious with yourself

Above all, this is most definitely not the time to beat yourself up about anything. Being frustrated and anxious because there is change is normal. Allow yourself to feel all of this while telling yourself that this is a normal response to what is happening. Let these cues help you make the right decision for what you need to do to take care of your needs. Pretending everything is fine when you are secretly falling apart, will only hurt you in the long run.

This looks really nice… Totally doing this somewhere once the weather cooperates.
Photo by Unsplash on Unsplash

You’ve got this

We’ve all dealt with big changes before and survived. We’ve gotten married, separated, started a new job, changed schools, and lost people dear to us. Sometimes adapting to a big change takes a while. Things might not be comfortable for a while and that’s okay. In the end, with patience and introspection we figured things out, just as we will figure things out in our current situation. The sooner you can accept this new normal and find ways to make things work for your unique needs, the faster you will start feeling more centered and at ease.


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Staying Away from People: An Introverts Guide for Extroverts

The world is gripped it in a pandemic fueled frenzy. If you’re experience is anything like mine, I’m sure you are all experiencing events being canceled, gatherings being rescheduled, and hand soap and toilet paper almost impossible to find in grocery stores.

It’s a bit scary, I’ll admit. The people I feel the worst for are all you extroverts out there. Being around other people is what gives you energy and fulfillment and your opportunities to do so have now been greatly reduced, if not completely eliminated.

Never fear. We introverts have been preparing for this moment for literally our entire lives.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I have some pointers

Find things to do

Boredom is everyone’s enemy. Introverts tend to handle boredom a bit better because our favorite activities can easily be done at home. Should you be quarantined, this is a perfect time to finally tackle some of those projects you’ve been wanting to work on. Pull out a board game to play with the family, dust off that old gaming console, or pick up one of those books you always been meaning to read.

Take time to introspect

When was the last time you took a walk with nothing but the silence to keep you company? Being under quarantine doesn’t mean you have to lock yourself inside. Find somewhere beautiful and take a walk. Allow your mind to wander. If you get ideas or insights, jot them down so you don’t forget. If you tend to be a tactile person, you can do the same thing by a writing down your thoughts long hand and letting what ever your brain wants to tell you to flow out. You might find things that surprise you.

Celebrate what you have

It’s really easy to fixate on the things you want but don’t have. Why not use this time to cultivate a new respect and gratitude for the things you do have? An abundance of stress lowers the immune system’s ability to to fight off illness. However, gratitude and a positive outlook have been proven to reduce stress. Take a few minutes as often as you can to consider something you are grateful for.

Honor your body’s needs

It’s really easy to let a huge change in schedule throw everything off, especially if you are trying to work from home for the first time. Pay attention to what your body needs. Get enough sleep. Drink lots of water. Balance work and play. Don’t binge on junk food. Set clear boundaries between when you need to work verses when you get to relax.

When all else fails, there’s always social media and online games

If you end up in quarantine, what a good age to have it in. We have everything we need to stay in contact with loved ones. There’s Skype and Facetime, there’s the full pantheon of social media outlets, there are masses of online gaming communities. For every itch, there are lots of scratches if you are feeling lonely. Try something new.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Regardless of what happens

Please observe common sense cautions. No, really. Doing the easy things is often forgotten. Wash your hands, cover your coughs and sneezes, and use common sense. We’ll get through this, I promise.


If you just happen to need something to read, you can totally download my free short story right now straight to the device of your choice. It’s so easy, just click this link.

Thank you dear reader for stopping by! If you’d like to be notified of future posts here at JodiLMilner.com, be sure to ‘subscribe’ using the handy links. Or, even better, sign up to be part of my mailing list.

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