Dreamland

2817775_origEven as a child I was a very vivid dreamer.  Perhaps it was because I was fairly rotten sleeper and prone to awaking easy.  Some of the dreams came and went in chapters, with part one happening before a waking spell and part two after I’d fallen back asleep.  Some resulted from the book I had been reading before shutting off the light.  Some were terrifying, others exhilarating.

Lately I’ve experienced an upturn in recallable dreams, I blame my little ones for calling out at night and interrupting my sleep cycle.  Although there are plenty of nights where they’re quiet and I still find myself waking for no good reason.  Cursed insomnia.

In one of my recent dreams I had to do a dance audition using a shopping cart as a prop. Although I feel I failed the audition they made me a part of special ops anyway. What dancing has to do with a military position is beyond me.  The rest of the dream was full of running and hiding and trying to find our target.

In another dream I was supposed to take a written test for something important, in dreams it’s always important.  However, every time I would look away from the paper, the question would change or be missing.  Then, I would madly shuffle through the papers to find where I was at only to forget what I was looking for.  After what seemed like hours of doing this cycle over and over, I went for help from the test administrator only to wake up before finding a solution.  At least in this school dream I was allowed to keep my clothes on.

Dreaming is a great escape, it allows us to explore areas of our subconscious that we otherwise would never have access.  Emotions are stronger, stakes are higher, and anything is possible.  Sometimes we can find solutions to problems, sometimes we gain a greater understanding of ourselves, sometimes we are left even more confused than when we started.

Now if I could just solve my insomnia problems and get back to it!

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Hey, check it out!  A fellow writing friend of mine has started blogging on WordPress.  You can find her at The Library Lady and Rosie Bear.  Go check her out, leave a comment, and follow if you like what you see.

 

 

Holding on and Letting go

IMG_1624Hubby and I spent time this weekend cleaning out the vast graveyard that is our closet. It seems that whenever there isn’t an obvious home for something somewhere else in the house it ends up being shoved in the corners and on the upper shelves of our small walk in.  In time the habit of squirreling things away in there starts taking its toll and it’s time to purge.

For some things making a decision about whether they should stay or go is easy;  especially things that aren’t expressly mine like the old GPS, a boardgame, and a set of sheets that are no longer used.  Lots of broken, outdated, and useless things were sorted and dealt with without a second thought.

Then there are the other things that I don’t want to make decisions about, the things that had goals and dreams attached to them.  I’ve been meaning to craft a quiet book for my children as a special family gift, made with lots of love and thought.  The basket holding all the fabric, buttons, zippers and other odds and ends for this project has been sitting on top of the bin of off season clothes for the past year and a half, untouched.  I still want to finish it, but I struggle to find a bit of time where I can get out the sewing machine without being ambushed by curious children. Taking the bin to the basement makes me feel like a failure  and have given up.

The same feeling goes for the expensive running shoes that have been kicked around the floor for the past year.  At one time I had a dream to be a distance runner.  I trained and ran for about a year before the pain and injuries caught up to me. Turns out running might not be my thing.  Even though I’m ok with not being a runner, getting rid of the shoes has a finality to it that is hard to swallow.  

Things like these were the hardest things to make a decision on.  It is as if by saying it’s time to go I’m abandoning a dream, I’m giving up on something I’ve been excited about. There are things that are worth holding on to, the things that make us smile, the things that excite us.   These are the things we should surround ourselves with.  For everything else, it’s time to let go.